I never could forget those cheekbones
by stanaticfanatic
Summary: (*some* 6x14 spoilers.) What if Kate didn't turn down the Modern Fashion shoot and was a successful model when she was younger, who met playboy author Richard Castle at a party. Ten years later, they meet again. Second chapter set around 1x01, goes AU from chapter 3. Epilogue set present day, now complete. 'Look Back but Don't Stare' as a follow on now up.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: so Matilda offered Kate the shoot in January '99, which was obviously around the time her mother died. So for the sake of this, let's say she was offered the shoot in January '98 and this is set around a year later. Kate is a successful model, Richard Castle is just releasing his second novel after the first was so well received.**_

**Also, I spent two hours on this and I was really happy with it - got almost to the end and the whole thing deleted. So I'm hoping I can do this one so I'm happy with it too. Apologies that's it's kinda long, but I knew from the start where it had to end and a lot had to happen for it to get to that point!**

* * *

"Just like that..perfect! Yes, keep that right there..oh wow, these shots are amazing, Matilda is going to be beside herself!" The photographer continued snapping shots of the fashion model, Kate Beckett posing in front if him. She was different to the others, she was genuinely a lovely person..but she was so good at what she did. It was rare to find such a beauty that could capture the camera the way she did. She'd go far in this industry he was sure of it.

"Can we stop for a sec?" Kate asked. "It's 3pm and I haven't eaten since 10 this morning, I'm starving!" Oh yeah, she was different to the others alright. A model who willingly ate.

Chuckling to himself he put the camera down. "Of course sweetheart, let's take 30."

Slipping behind the curtain, Kate slipped off her gown and pulled on a fluffy dressing gown. There was no way she'd eat in that gown - it's Alexander McQueen for crying out loud, god forbid she spilt anything on it.

Sinking into a comfy chair, she thought back to her first photo shoot with Modern Fashion. She couldn't believe it had been a year! Since then, she'd really made a name for herself in the industry. Not only had she done fashion shoots for Modern Fashion, she'd done them for some of the biggest fashion magazines in the world. As well as billboards displayed in Times Square and she even got to fly over to London last September for London fashion week.

But this was the end. After today, she wasn't a model anymore, this was her last shoot. Not that anybody knew, yet. But she'd had enough.

Pulling out her phone, she called her mom.

"Katie! Hi, I thought you were on a shoot all afternoon?" Her moms voice came over the phone. It was a voice she'd never tire of hearing. Even when she was saying_ 'I told you so.'_

"Yeah I am, but we're taking a break - I needed to eat! So I thought I would ring and say hi and remind you I won't be home until really late tonight. I've got that book party Matilda wants us at, some author releasing his second best seller." She'd heard of Richard Castle. Who hadn't? Never read his book though, not really her thing. She preferred her murder theories more realistic and not completely fictional.

And after this shoot and the party, she was focussing on her real career, she was pre-law at Stanford. She was going to become a lawyer, just like her parents. She knew they were proud of her and what she did, but knew they'd be even more proud when she was a lawyer.

"Oh yeah, I'd forgotten you were at that tonight. Perhaps your father and I will go out for dinner then, I feel like I haven't seen him in ages - we've both been so busy at work!" Her mom replied, sounding excited.

"That's a great idea mom, go and have fun! And I have a week off from Monday..I was thinking you and I could do some shopping, get lunch and have a catch up?" She loved spending time with her mom. Loved her dad too, but girly things with her mom were always fun. "I've got something to tell you anyway..before I head back to LA in a few weeks." She'd tell her parents about giving up modelling as soon as she could.

"Sure Katie, sounds great! Listen, I have to go..had a really big case recently and we finally got a breakthrough a few weeks ago and we're about to see where it leads. I love you."

"I love you too, mom." Kate hung up, smiling to herself. She was adamant she was doing the right thing, giving up the modelling. She loved it, dresses and the make up and the photo shoots and the travelling, but it wasn't where her heart was. She wanted to be a lawyer like her mom. All her mom cared about was the truth, she wasn't bothered about the background of the defendant, as long as the truth came out. _I want to make her really proud of me _she thought.

* * *

Five hours later and Kate was soaking into a luxurious hot bubble bath. The shoot, her final shoot, finished well and the photographer was happy with the shots he'd taken. They were a range of shots, showcasing Alexander McQueens newest collection, specially focussing on looks the celebrities were going to be seen in on the red carpet very soon.

After her soak in the bath, Kate started on her hair and make up. Given that she was representing Modern Fashion tonight, they had offered her the use of a hair and make up stylist but Kate preferred to do it herself. She didn't have to lie about liking what they'd done that way.

She was starting to wish she'd said she was quitting before now. A few days ago, her agent had informed her that Modern Fashion were planning on offering her a much more permanent position there as a model. Perhaps even a cover shoot in the summer. But she'd made up her mind, and after this party she was done. _That's going to go down_ _well_ she thought. Matilda King wasn't exactly someone used to hearing the word 'no'.

An hour later and she was done. She'd teased her long chestnut hair into soft curls, cascading down her back. With her make up, she'd gone simple but effective. Something she'd always lived by was going to town on the eyes or the lips. Not both, it was too much. So she'd outlined her eyes in a dark liner, added a few coats of mascara and left her lips pale with a clear gloss. She kept her face make up fairly simple too, foundation to even things out, set with a powder and added some bronzer to highlight her best features. Sorted.

It was 9.30 and a car was arriving to pick her up in 30 minutes. Courtesy of Modern Fashion, of course. Her best friend Maddie, from school, was due in 15 minutes, having agreed to be Kate's plus one for night given that Kate had no proper date. _Commitment issues._

Slipping into her Oscar de la Renta gown and pulling on her five inch Louboutins, she put her lip gloss, phone and keys into a small clutch bag and waited for Maddie to arrive.

* * *

An hour after arriving and Kate was wishing she'd never bothered coming. Maddie had disappeared pretty much as soon as they arrived, determined to get as many numbers as possible. Looking around, Kate saw a pile of Richard Castle's newest novel on the table in the corner. Wandering over she picked one up, deciding to see what all the fuss was about. Opening it up and reading the first three pages she was hooked. It was..compelling. Compulsive. In just three pages he had achieved something some authors never managed - he made her want to read more. She wanted, needed to know what happened next. Just as she was planning on escaping out the back somewhere to devour this book, she heard someone come up behind her. Spinning around, she saw who it was. It was him. Richard Castle. Minus two or three supermodels that seemed to be permanently attached to him.

"Ah, do I have a fan here?" He asked, so sure of himself.

"What? No. I was bored. Thought I'd see what the hype was over. Not my kinda thing." Looking around, she tried to find someone she could escape to. Spotting Lily, a model she had worked with on a few occasions on the other side of the room, she turned back to Richard Castle ready to excuse herself. "Sorry, I've just spotted a friend, it was nice to meet you."

Turning to walk away, she heard him speak:

"I can see no one in this room who looks in dire need to talk to you, I'm sure it can wait. At least let me get you a drink? We can have a chat about why you don't want to read my book." He shot her smile, one she was sure had dropped many a women's panties in the past. He really was rather ruggedly handsome.. _Stop it_. Said the voice in her head. _You are not sleeping with Richard Castle._

She gave in. "Okay fine, one drink. And then I'm going home." _Alone_.

* * *

Half an hour later and Kate was more than ready to go. She just wasn't so sure she wanted to go alone. She couldn't go home with him! Could she?

"Well, Mr Castle, it was lovely to have met you and thank you for the drink, however I really must be getting home." She said politely, before sliding off of the bar stool and gathering up her things.

"Wait," he said standing up too, "why don't you come back to my pla-" he broke off at her raised eyebrows. "Not like that..not that I'd say no but that's not why I'm asking. Look, you're not like the other models I meet. You have more than one brain cell for a start and you're so down to earth and easy to get along with. Let's go back to mine, just to talk. And as soon as you want to go, I'll have my driver take you straight home." He was looking at her intensely, those eyes could do things she never thought possible..

She didn't know why but she relented. "Sure. Why not. To talk. Nothing else." Even as she said this she knew once they were alone she'd have trouble not ripping his clothes off.

"Great!" He sent another heart stopping smile her way and placed his hand on her lower back, leading her through the crowd and out to a waiting car.

"Wait," Kate said, "it's not even midnight, won't someone be worried about you leaving so early."

"I'm leaving with the most beautiful woman in the room. They won't be surprised." He replied with a wink.

She blushed at the compliment before realising the insinuations that came with his last comment. "To talk." She stated sternly. He just smiled at her.

* * *

They were sat on his sofa, facing each other and just inches apart. Kate couldn't tell if he was moving closer every now and then, or if she was imagining it because she wanted him to. Not that she'd tell him that if he asked. She couldn't sleep with him. Well, she could but she shouldn't. No, she didn't want to become another one of Richard Castle's conquests thank you very much.

She'd had one night stands before, kind of had to if she wasn't going to commit to a relationship but still wanted certain..ah.._benefits_. But Rick? He was different. He was famous and not another guy from college. Could she do it? She wanted to, no doubt about that..

He interrupted her thoughts. Before they went too far.. "Kate? Hello? Are you there?" She had zoned out for a second.

"Yeah..sorry. Uh..go on" she was blushing, she could tell.

"Look Kate, I know I asked you here to talk and I swear if that's all you want then that's fine by me but my god you're so beautiful but you're more than that..you're intelligent and self assured and confident and I'm not going to lie and say it wouldn't be great.." He stopped, had he said too much?

She paused for a moment before replying. With a playful smile, she said "oh, you have no idea."

And then they were closer. Their lips together, frantic for more. Rick pulled her onto his lap, her legs straddled either side of his.

His hands roamed her body, down her back and up her thighs. She moaned into his mouth as his fingers trailed up towards that spot, the spot she so desperately wanted, _needed_ him.

Growing impatient, she started unbuttoning his shirt, tugging at the buttons and peeling it off of him. He was toned and muscular underneath and she ran her hands over his well defined body.

Standing them up and yanking the zip of her dress down, he helped her out of it. And now she was stood in front of him in nothing but her lacy bra and matching panties. She was panting slightly with arousal, her eyes filled with lust. Pure unadulterated lust. Taking her hand, he led her into the bedroom, easing her down onto the bed.

* * *

Kate awoke with a start. Turning over in Richard Castle's bed, she glanced at the clock. 3:12am. She smiled to herself, remembering what they'd got up to last night. Honestly? Nothing short of mind blowing.

Feeling thirsty, she crept out of bed and padded into the kitchen for a glass of water. Setting the glass down on the side, she heard a phone ringing. Her phone. Walking over to the table in the living room where she'd left her bag, she pulled out her phone and saw that it was her dad calling - at 3:15 am?

"Dad? What's wrong?" She asked.

"Oh Katie, thank goodness you've answered. Listen sweetheart, something - something's happened. I need to you come home. Right away." He sounded different, odd.

"Ok, I'll be there as soon as I can.." And with that Jim hung up.

Rushing back into the bedroom, she grabbed her underwear and pulled it back on, careful not to wake Rick. Back in the lounge she shimmied back into her dress and shoes and grabbed her bag, leaving as quietly as possible - no time for a note, she needed to see her dad.

Luckily, New York is the city that never sleeps so hailing a cab was easy, despite the early/late hour. Twenty minutes later and they pulled up on her street - the first thing she saw was a police car. Oh god, what's happened? Paying the cabbie, she raced in the front door.

"Dad?" She called out.

Her dad rushed out of the living room, closely followed by man she didn't recognise. "Oh Katie. Come and sit down, I need talk to you."

Kate didn't move. "What? What is it? What's happened? Where's mom?"

"Katie..oh I'm sorry, Katie so sorry. It's, it's your mom. You see I..we, we were meant to meet for dinner and she didn't show. Her work said she'd already left but I couldn't get hold of her. I came home and found Detective Raglan here and he..he said-" her father broke off, tears overcoming him.

"Said what?" Kate asked, turning from her dad to the detective.

Her dad seemingly unable to finish, the detective spoke. "Miss Beckett, I'm sorry but your mother was found dead tonight."

* * *

10 years later and Detective Kate Beckett had just landed a new case. Something about the way Allison Tisdale and Marvin Fisk had been presented looked familiar, but she couldn't quite figure out why. And then it hit her._ Flowers For Your Grave._ The Richard Castle novel. The scene was right out of his book. And pulling out the crime scene photos from Fisk's murder, she connected that one too - straight out of Hell Hath No Fury.

Informing Ryan and Esposito of her discovery, she had his whereabouts tracked. He was at a book party for his latest Derrick Storm novel. _How ironic_. Beckett thought. She briefly considered sending Ryan or Esposito to bring him in for questioning but really, what were the chances he'd recognise her? It had been 10 years. She'd changed a lot since then and she imagined he'd had a hell of a lot of women since that night. No, she'd suck it up and bring him in herself.

Walking through the crowd, she spotted him at the bar, talking to a girl she guessed was his daughter. Yes okay, since that night she had read his books. All of them. More than once. They helped. So she knew a bit about him, knew he had a daughter, knew he'd got married and divorced again since their night together.

"Mr Castle. Detective Beckett, NYPD. We'd need to ask you a few questions about a murder that took place earlier tonight." Self assured and confident, she had that down to a t.

Richard spun around. He recognised that voice. "Kate Beckett! I never could forget those cheekbones.."

* * *

**_A/N: okay so we're done! Thoughts? _**

**_Just a couple of quick notes: I don't really know anything about the fashion modelling industry, so I'm sorry if it's hideously inaccurate but I tried my best! I also apologise if I insulted models in general - I'm sure the majority of them do eat and have more than one brain cell!_**

**_I also felt it was better to not include anything about Joanna's murder other than Kate being told. It's a very sensitive situation and I've just alluded to what was mentioned in the show - I'm sure we all have our own versions of how it went down._**

**_I was planning on leaving it there but I'm going to have a think and see if I wanna carry on, so I won't mark it as complete yet!_**

**_Reviews are more than welcome, in fact they mean a huge amount. Just a quick one to say what you did/didn't like - this is only my second fanfic so I'm still learning!_**


	2. Chapter 2

**_A/N: so I'm sure most of you will realise that a lot of this dialogue comes from Flowers for your Grave, so credit to AWM/all writers of that ep! However, it does tail off about 1/2-3/4 of the way through and I start making stuff up again._ ****_And thank you for the reviews on the first chapter..hope you like this one just as much_**!_**  
**_

* * *

_"Kate Beckett! I never could forget those cheekbones.."_

* * *

Holy crap he recognises her. How? How is that even possible? She looks completely different to ten years ago and yet he still remembers. She's watching him through the one way glass leading into the interrogation room.

He didn't do it. She knows that even though he makes up these murders for a living, he's not actually capable of committing them. She doesn't want to go in there. The usually unflappable Kate Beckett is scared. Scared of what he might say, god the last thing she needs is the whole precinct knowing she slept with Richard Castle. But, as much as she wishes she didn't have to, she needs to talk to him about Allison Tisdale and Marvin Fisk. He might not have committed these murders, but someone did and that someone knew his books.

Beckett walks into the interrogation room and takes a seat opposite Richard Castle. "Mr Castle, you've got quite the rap sheet for a bestselling author. Disorderly conduct..resisting arrest.."

"Boys will be boys" he replied.

Ignoring his comment, Beckett continued. "Says here that you stole a police horse?"

"Borrowed" he counteracted.

God did he have an answer for everything? "And you were naked at the time?"

"It was spring!" He said, as if that somehow made it perfectly normal to 'borrow' a police horse and ride it around naked.

"And every time the charges were dropped?" She replied. Did he talk his way out of everything or just sleep with the nearest available female?

"What can I say, the mayors a fan. But if it makes you feel better, I'd be happy to let you spank me." He sent her a smile, one that had got him exactly what he wanted ten years ago.

_Don't let him get to you _she thought, _not this time_. "Mr Castle, this whole bad boy charm thing that you've got going on might work for bimbettes and celebutantes. Me? I work for a living. So that makes you one of two things in my world. Either the guy who makes my life easier or the guy who makes my life harder, and trust me, you do not want to be the guy who makes my life harder." She finished, back in control of the situation.

"Ah, but it worked once, didn't it. And from the frustrated look in your eyes..I bet I could make it work again." So damn sure of himself. She wanted him, he could tell. Getting her to admit it wouldn't be easy though..

"I have no idea what you're talking about." She replied avoiding his gaze.

"Leaning across the desk he lowered his voice slightly, "oh you know exactly what I'm talking about. Ten years ago. Second novel release party. You were there..most beautiful women in the room if I remember correctly and we left together._ To talk_." He emphasised the last two words, remembering how adamant she'd been that they were just going to talk. _Yeah she talked alright, moaned his name over and over again as he made her co-_

She interrupted his memories of that night with "Mr Castle-"

"Oh please," he replied, "after all we've been through you can at least call me Rick. You did once, remember?"

She was still surprised he remembered so much about that night. "I..uh, you remember...that?" She asked.

"Like I said, I never could forget those cheekbones."

She blushed and looked down at the folder she had placed on the table. Ugh, how could he still have this effect on her? The guy was a self-centered egotistical jackass! Pulling out photos of the victims, she looked back up at him.

Sliding a photo of Allison Tisdale across the table, he looked away from her and down to the picture. "Allison Tisdale, daughter of real estate mogul Jonathan Tisdale."

"She's cute." He said. Of course that would be the first thing that came to his mind.

"She's dead." Beckett supplied, frustrated with his attitude. "You ever meet her? Book signing? Charity event?"

"It's possible. She's not in my little black book if that's what you're asking." _Oh but you are detective, and I'm not going to let you forget that either.._

Taking out a picture of Marvin Fisk, she showed that to Castle too. "What about this guy? Marvin Fisk, small claims lawyer."

"Most of my claims tend to be on the uh, large side." He replied, earning himself an eye roll from Detective Beckett. _God she's beautiful_. "So, what's this got to do with me?" As much as he was enjoying seeing Kate all flustered again, he was a little confused as to why he was here.

"Fisk was found murdered in his office two weeks ago. I didn't put it together until we saw the Tisdale crime scene tonight." She showed him a picture of Allison Tisdale's dead body.

He recognised the scene immediately, "Flowers for your Grave.."

Pulling out a picture of Marvin Fisk's dead body, she said "and this is how we found Marvin Fisk - straight out of Hell Hath No Fury."

That got his attention. He looked up at her, "looks like I have a fan." He said.

"Yeah, a really deranged fan." She replied.

"Oh, you don't look deranged to me" he said with a smirk.

"_What_?!" Beckett exclaimed.

"Hell Hath No Fury? Angry wiccan's out for blood? Come on, only hardcore Castle groupies read that one!" This was fun. Wait, hadn't she said.."hold on a moment, I didn't think you were a fan of my books? If I remember rightly, you were reading because you were, um _bored_?" He finished.

"Yeah well. Things change..people change...things happen.." She couldn't meet his eye.

There was a story in there. He'd leave it for now, but he was planning on getting it out of her.

Leaving the room having made plans to go through his fan mail with him to look for any clues on their suspect, Beckett escaped to the ladies.

She couldn't believe this was happening. Not only did her recognise her, he seemed to remember every detail from their night together. To be honest it was all sort of a blur to her, she remembered going back to his to talk and doing a hell of a lot more than talking but after that she didn't really remember much. Tried to block it out. Because while her own mother was left bleeding to death in a cold alleyway, she was having earth shattering sex with Richard bloody Castle. She'd never forgive herself for that, never, and him now being a part of this investigation really wasn't helping her conscience - especially given as old feelings seemed to be resurfacing.

* * *

The next afternoon and Kate had to see him again. Surrounded by piles and piles of fanmail, she was determined to get this over with as soon as possible. The less she had to see of Richard Castle, the better.

Ignoring his comment about her furrowing brow, she says "can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot," he replies.

"Why are you here? You don't care about the victims so you aren't here for justice. You don't care that the guy's..aping your books so you aren't here 'cause you're outraged. So what is it Rick? Are you here to annoy me?"

_Annoy you..get you back into bed, same thing._ "I'm here for the story."

"The story?" She asks, surprised at his reply.

"Why those people? Why those murders?"

"Sometimes there is no story, sometimes the guy is just a psychopath." She couldn't believe he had an answer for everything, it was so infuriating!

"There's always a story, always a chain of events that makes everything make sense. Take you for example... Under normal circumstances, you should not be here. Most smart, good looking women become lawyers, not cops. Which, if I remember correctly you were studying to become when we first met. Stanford, wasn't it? Yes I remember, you were pre-law back then - and yet here you are. Why?" He said.

_Dammit, how could he get so much from so little?_ "I don't know Rick. You're the novelist - you tell me."

"Well, you're not bridge and tunnel, no trace of the boroughs when you talk. So that means Manhattan, that means money. You went to college, Stanford - a good one. You had options. Yeah, pre-law meant you had lots of options, better options, more socially acceptable options. And you still chose this. That tells me something happened. Not to you. No, you're wounded but you're not that wounded. It was somebody you cared about. It was someone you loved. And you probably could've lived with that, but the person responsible was never caught. And that, Detective Beckett, is why you're here."

The look on her face said it all - he was right.

"Cute trick. Don't think you know me." And the walls, her defence mechanism were back up. She let her guard down for a moment, but not for long.

He continued to stare at her, thinking hard. "Wait..thats why isn't it? That's why you left that night..I woke up..around 4 and you weren't there, you'd already gone." He was putting the pieces of her jigsaw together.

She did not like where he was going with this. "How do you know I did just realise the mistake I'd made and get out of there?" She asked, determined not to let him know how close he'd come to the truth.

"Sweetheart, you can deny it all you want but we both know you thoroughly enjoyed yourself that night. You were right, _I had no idea_. So you can't say it was a mistake, not when you had that much fun." He was back to his usual cocky self. "So, that's why you left that night! Something happened." He stared at her for a few minutes, waiting for her to speak. "Well?" He said, "I'm still waiting for your story."

"Not a chance." She said. "I'm not going to lie and say it wasn't great - it was. But it was ten years ago and I think we've both moved on."

She didn't want to talk about it then. He was right, gut instinct..spidey senses or whatever were telling him he was right but she wasn't going to let him in.

"Hang on, I think I've found something.." She said, pulling out a drawing that looked remarkably like their - her - crime scene..

* * *

So, the case was over - just paperwork to finish now. They had their guy, even if Richard Castle wasn't convinced it was him. _Not that he knows much about real life murder solving. _The third murder - straight out of Death of a Prom Queen had sealed it. And she never had to see Richard Castle ever again.

Walking over to her desk, she stopped. _Why was Richard Castle at her desk?_ Taking the papers off of him, she put them back in the folder he'd taken them out of. "What are you doing?"

"It's a novelists habit. Poking through other peoples mail, checking their medicine cabinets." He smiled at her.

"Why are you still here?" The case is over, he should be gone!

"I just came by to give you this. It's a little something to memorialise our brief partnership." Handing her box, she gave him a strange look. "Don't look so suspicious. Go on, open it."

Opening the box, she found a copy of his newest novel - Storm Fall.

"I got you an advanced copy. I even signed it to you - not that you're a fan." She was so a fan.

"Thanks. That's actually kind of - sweet." She looked shocked.

With a light kiss to her cheek he walked out. Still confused by his gift, the penny dropped. _He didn't?_ "Oh he did!" He'd taken the crime scene photos. She was going to kill him.

* * *

Marching through the doors of the New York Central Public Library like a woman on a mission, she found him. "Richard Castle you are under arrest for felony theft and obstruction of justice."

"You forgot making you look bad."

_Ugh_! Kate thought to herself. _What did I ever see in him?!_

* * *

She couldn't believe he'd solved the case at the same time as her. She'd never admit it but he was actually pretty good..showing up at Tisdale's office, realising he was ill..buying the alibi Allison's brother had was a slight let down but she'd let him off, he did good. And now, here they were stood on the street as Harrison Tisdale was lead away by uniformed officers. _Case solved._

"Let me buy you a drink?" He said.

"What? No!" That's how they got into this mess in the beginning.

"Come on, just one drink, I swear. Invite Esposito and Ryan if it makes you feel more comfortable. I just want to say thank you for letting me help today, it was fun."

It was the eyes. She'd never been able to resist when he looked at her like that.. "Okay, one drink but that's it. I am not coming back to yours to 'talk' and after today we never see each other again. Deal?"

"Deal. God you drive a hard bargain. Come on, I know this great little place downtown..we can get burgers too!"

He was excited about the burgers, you wouldn't believe it was only a drink she'd agreed to - he was like a nine year old on a sugar rush!

* * *

They were sat at the bar in a small little place, cute. Despite only agreeing to one drink, Beckett was currently on her third and was starting to feel the effects. It was time to go home.

"Okay. I have to go." She said, sliding down from the barstool. "Some of us have work tomorrow."

"At least let me see you home?" He asked.

She narrowed her eyes at him.

"We'll share a cab, that's it. It's getting late and I wouldn't be a gentleman if I didn't make sure you got home safe."

"Do I need to remind you that I'm wearing a gun?" She asked.

"Please don't, it puts inappropriate thoughts in my head." He replied innocently.

Holding back a smile she said "ok fine, we'll share a cab."

Walking outside they found a cab was nowhere in site. "Come on, if we walk up the road a little we'll find one." Castle suggested.

Beckett was a little bit tipsy and as they started walking, she stumbled. Castle reached out to stead her, "you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah fine, it just went straight to my head that's all. Just need some sleep!" They'd moved to the side of the street now, and he was staring at her. They were so close..if he just moved an inch forward their lips would be touching.

"Kate.." He pleaded.

"Sshh." And then his lips were on hers, fast and insistent. She kissed him back equally as hard as he pushed her against the wall of the nearest building.

They broke apart, panting. Looking around, Beckett saw that thankfully, the street was empty, no one had seen them. Just at that moment a cab came round the corner. She jumped out to hail it down and they got in. Rattling off her address, Castle went to speak to tell the driver his address too so they could go there after, but Beckett silenced him with a look.

"Don't say a word." She said.

"I..uh, Kate?"

Glaring at him, she added "not a word Castle or I swear to god I'll get out now and you'll be going home alone." He shut up.

* * *

The next morning, Kate woke alone. She smiled to herself at the memories of last night before getting up for a shower before work.

Heading into the kitchen for coffee, she noticed a note on the side. Picking it up, it read "Sorry had to go, Alexis needed to see me before school. Once again you were right - I had no idea. I would say 'see you around' but that would break our deal. R x" It was fun, incredible even. But she had to admit she was so glad she never had to see Richard Castle again. Too much ego, boyish charm and childishness to deal with.

Just as she got to her desk in the precinct, the Captain called her into his office.

"I just got a call from the mayors office" Montgomery said. "It appears you have a fan."

"A fan, sir?" She questioned.

"Rick Castle. Seems he's found the inspiration for his next set if novels. A tough but savvy female detective."

"I'm flattered?" She said, unsure of the correct response.

"Don't be. He says he has to do research." That captain said.

"Oh no." Beckett saw where this was going.

"Oh yes."

"No way." This was not happening. They had a deal!

"Beckett listen, he.."

"Sir he is like a nine year old on a sugar rush, totally incapable of taking anything seriously!" She protested.

"But he did help solve this case." Her captain pointed out.

"Oh" was all she could say. He had a point.

"And when the mayors happy, the commissioners happy. And when the commissioners happy - I'm happy!"

"How long, sir?" Beckett asked in defeat. Seems like this was happening whether she liked it or not.

"That's up to him, detective." He said, pointing over her shoulder.

Turning around, Beckett saw Castle stood there, huge grin on his face. _She was going to kill him. _

Castle smiled and waved at Kate. From the look on her face, the captain had just told her his plans - and she wasn't happy about it..

* * *

**_A/N: done! Sorry it's quite long again, I tend to know from the start where the chapter has to end and everything else gets filled in! I would love to know what you think..haven't decided where I'm taking it yet so suggestions for what could happen in chapter 3 are welcome!_**


	3. Chapter 3

**_A/N: thank you SO MUCH for all the love you've given me on this story, I'm glad you're all liking it and I'll try and keep updating as much as possible, so here's chapter 3!_**

* * *

_What was he doing here? They had a deal!_

Marching up to the man she thought she'd never have to see again except on a book cover, Kate Beckett demanded to know what Richard Castle thought he was doing. "What are you doing here?" She hissed, dragging him into the empty break room and slamming the door behind her.

"Ooo, you're hot when you get angry." He said, a smirk on his face. "Dragged me in here for round three have you? Though technically if you add up all the times, this would be round six.."

"Richard Castle don't you dare!" She exclaimed, looking to check no one was trying to listen in on their conversation. "I want to know what you are doing here. We had a deal, remember?!"

"What I do remember," he began, "is you using your mouth for something a hell of a lot more enjoyable than shouting at me last night. Multiple times, actually. Think we could go again?"

She was seething now. Completely and utterly infuriated with the unstoppable man stood in front of her. "Stop it. Just stop. You need to go. Home. Now." She was close to breaking point, she wasn't sure how much longer she could put up with him before she pulled out her gun.

"I'm not going anywhere except wherever you're going." He replied. "The Captain told you didn't he? _You're_ the inspiration for my next set of novels. I wrote four chapters just in the library yesterday, before you arrested me! Oh my publisher is going to love it!"

"I don't give a flying crap about your publisher. You can't follow me around, I go to crime scenes. Real ones, not ones where you can rewrite the ending. There are dead bodies. Again, real ones - actual people have been actually murdered and it's my job to find out who did it. I don't need an annoying puppy tagging along!" She said. She had to stop him from doing this somehow. "And, how could you show up here after our deal? You even left a note about it this morning!" She asked.

"Well, you see I was doing a little thinking." Castle started to say.

"Didn't hurt yourself did you?" Beckett muttered. Looking up and smiling sweetly at him she said "please, carry on."

"Yes, anyway, I was thinking - it happens occasionally I'll have you know and I came to the conclusion that you broke the deal first, so technically it was void and I could show up here and shadow you."

Oh she couldn't wait to hear this. "What do you mean, I broke the deal first? I'd love to hear how you came to that conclusion. We agreed to go for a drink and then I never had to see you again!" _Or something like that, anyway._

"Ah, but you're missing the finer points - something I wouldn't have thought a detective would do?" This earned him a disapproving glance from Beckett. "Anyway, back to the deal. Yes - we agreed one drink but you weren't coming back to mine to '_talk'_ and then we never had to see each other again." He could tell by he look in her eyes that she might have just figured out where she broke the deal. She was a stubborn women though, something he admired about her, and she wasn't going to go down without a fight.

"Your point?" She asked.

"My _point_, is that we agreed on one drink - you had three. So that's the first place you broke the deal. Pretty early actually, never would have thought you'd back down so easily.." He tailed off, lost in his own thoughts.

She brought him back to reality with a sharp "that all you got Castle? 'Cause I don't think it'd stand up in a court of law, therefore the deal wasn't broken and you. Shouldn't. Be here!"

_God she was sexy when she was angry._ What he wouldn't give to push her against the door and kiss her senseless,_ that'd shut her up_.. But she was angry and also carrying a gun so probably not the cleverest of ideas.. "Ah, but you see, you also said you weren't coming back to mine..ah, let me finish" he said as she opened her mouth to interrupt. "I know technically you didn't come back to mine," _you came as I called you _mine_ though_..Castle decided it was best not to bring _that_ up right now, especially with the look on her face and the whole gun thing and continued trying to show her how she broke the deal. "But, we went back to yours. Together. And don't even think about denying that if we were closer to mine, we still would have gone back to your because we wouldn't. The only reason we went to mine and not yours is because you couldn't wait to get me naked again. Not that I'm complaining or anything. Oh no, you naked is something else entirely, I mean-"

"Castle!" She almost shouted. "Drop it! Last night was a mistake, one that will categorically not be happening again!" She said in defeat.

"You know, a mistake is something that's misguided or wrong. You can't stand there and tell me that you and me together isn't electric, Kate." He moved closer to her and lowered his voice, "oh no, we are incredible together and you can't deny that."

Pausing for a moment, Kate tried to even out her breathing. Having him so close to her was so not helping the situation. "Okay..well perhaps not a mistake.." He was right, they were incredible together. "But it shouldn't have happened, just like that night ten years ago."

Castle smiled at getting her to change her mind and not call it a mistake. "Hmm, well you seem to be making a little habit of doing things you shouldn't don't you..so, does this mean I can follow you?" He asked hopefully.

Beckett couldn't see that she had any other choice other than to let him. "Fine, but the second you mess something up, you're out. Okay?" She wasn't going to have him screwing up her crime scenes.

"Fine. I'll do exactly as you tell me and I won't touch a thing."_ Except maybe you.._

Beckett found that hard to believe.

* * *

It was the end of another day at the precinct and another successful case laid to rest. It was the nanny today that had been killed. Castle had been surprisingly helpful, not that Beckett would willingly admit it.

"So, Detective," Castle said as they were packing up to head out. "Want to grab a drink before going home?"

Beckett narrowed her eyes at him. "I don't think so, somehow." She said, remembering how 'getting a drink' had ended up the last two times.

"A walk then?" Castle suggested.

Beckett thought for a moment. What harm could a walk do? She could just take the scenic route home. "Okay fine, I could do with the fresh air anyway."

"This is New York, there's no such thing as fresh air."

"Oh you know what I mean Castle." Beckett said, walking towards the lift.

* * *

"So," Castle said on their walk through Central Park, "I'm guessing you don't want to tell me why you're a cop and not a lawyer, but why did you give up the modelling? You were pretty successful from what I read."

"It wasn't for me, I wanted to do - wait, what do you mean from what you read? Richard Castle did you research me?!"

"I, uh..I um yeah. I did. Look, after that night at the party I didn't know why you'd just left and you were different..I wanted to know more about you. So I did a little digging..Modern Fashion, hey? They're pretty big." He said.

"Yeah they are and I loved it when I was doing it, I really did. But it wasn't where my heart was..no, I was going to become a lawyer and then when-" she broke off, almost saying too much.

Surprisingly, Castle didn't push for more information about her mother. "When did you quit?"

"That night actually. I'd been at a shoot all day and it was my last one. No one knew at that point, I hadn't even told my parents." She paused, thinking that her mother never found out she quit the modelling and that she was now a Homicide Detective with the NYPD. But then, if her mother was still here she wouldn't be a cop. _I hope you're proud of me, mom._ She thought to herself. "But I was going to that stupid party - oh my god, I'm so sorry I didn't think.."

He smiled at her. "Don't worry about it, I'm not a huge fan of them myself sometimes."

"Anyway..yeah, after the party I was planning on telling Matilda that I was done." She finished.

"Planning? You never told her?" He questioned.

"Well, yeah she found out, just took a while." She said.

Castle hadn't known Kate Beckett very long but he could tell she wasn't someone who let people in very easily, and he wasn't going to push her away even more now. "So tell me about your job. Who you work with. You seem to get on well with Lanie?"

Beckett was glad for the change of subject. "Lanie's great, she's my best friend. We get on so well and she's so much fun to be around..you'll figure that out soon enough."

Castle smiled. She probably didn't realise, but if he was going to get to figure out how fun Lanie was, she was suggesting he'd be around for a while.

"You know Castle, when you're not being a jackass you're actually ok. It's nice to see this side of you." They'd stopped now, sitting on a nearby bench.

He was close. Too close. "Castle, no. Don't do this.." She looked into his eyes and then her gaze involuntarily flicked to his lips and back up to his eyes.

Closing the gap, Castle planted his lips on Kates. Soft, so soft..he couldn't help himself. Just as he pushed the tip of his tongue through her lips, she pushed him away and stood up.

"No Castle, we aren't doing this! Jesus, just when I start to think you're okay, the jackass comes back out again!" She storms off, heading in the direction of her apartment.

"Beckett!" He calls after her. "Kate, wait, I'm sorry! He catches up to her, trying to apologise for what he's done.

She doesn't stop, so he matches her pace. "No Castle, you aren't sorry. You're just sorry I didn't kiss you back." Realising he was still following her, she said "what, are you stalking me now? Do you want me to arrest you on harassment charges?"

He briefly contemplated making a wise ass remark about how _hot_ it'd be if she used her handcuffs on him but thought better of it. Now wasn't really the time. "Kate stop." She didn't, so neither did he. "Look you can say all you want that we can't do this but that doesn't mean you don't want to. You want me, I know you do."

He was right, god she wanted him more than she'd ever wanted anyone, but she wasn't letting him know that. "Castle, leave me alone!" She just wanted to get home and away from him.

"I'm not giving up Kate, not until you admit that you want this as much as I do."

"What, and then you'd just go away?" _God please say yes._

"No, then I'd drag you up to your apartment and make sure you really knew why you wanted me." He replied with a cocky grin.

"So, how do I get you to leave me alone?" She asked, they'd got to her apartment building now and she didn't really want him in there.

"You don't." He pushed her against the wall and kissed her roughly. She tried to stop him, but eventually gave in, kissing him back with as much passion.

She pulled away. "Castle, no! This can't happen!"

Oh god, not again. He thought he'd convinced her.

She went up the stairs to her apartment, annoyed that he was still following her. "Castle, which part of no don't you understand?!"

Leaning in close, he met her eyes, just inches apart from him now. "Kate, tell me you don't want this and I'll stop, I swear. But I know you want me, this, us."

She wanted to say no. God she really did. But she couldn't. Dragging him into her apartment she all but attacked him. Lips and tongues battling for control, she said "don't say a word Castle, not a freaking word. I can't stand you at the moment and I wish I didn't want this but I do. I wish I could say no but I can't." And with that, she pulled him into her bedroom, shutting the door behind.

* * *

A couple of hours later and Kate was sat in her lounge whilst Richard Castle was asleep in her bed. Again. She couldn't sleep. It was only 10pm anyway. Their sex had been angry...rough. No murmured affections or endearments, just straightforward sex.

All of a sudden, there was a loud knock on her front door. _Who's that? _She wondered. Getting up, she walked over to the door and opened it, seeing Lanie on the other side.

"Lanie! What are you doing here?" Kate asked.

"We planned on me coming over remember? Sorry I'm a bit late, got caught up in autopsy files..what's wrong? Did you forget I was coming over?" Lanie asked with a frown.

"I..no, no of course not. It's just I'm not feeling that great..sorry, I forgot to let you know.." Kate trailed off seeing Lanie's gaze disappear over Kate's shoulder.

Turning to see what she was looking at, she could have killed him. "Uh Kate, do you mind if I take a show-" he stopped, noticing Lanie for the first time. "Oh." Was all he could say.

This could not be happening! Kate thought. How was she supposed to explain the fact that Richard Castle was emerging from her bedroom wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and asking to use her shower?

Lanie broke the silence. "Well. I can see why you didn't ring me.."

* * *

**_A/N: slightly shorter chapter this time, hope it's still okay! Please let me know what you think, your reviews so far have been amazing and I can't believe people are actually liking these ideas I come up with! So yeah, reviews make me very happy :)_**

**_I've started another multi-chapter fic too, called A familiar face, so feel free to check that out and review too ;)_**


	4. Chapter 4

**_A/N: thank you thank you thank you! Your reviews are amazing and I'm so so so happy you like it! Really not sure how I feel about this chapter..having an 'ugh I can't think what to write' moment, but I put it up anyway..hope it's not too bad!_**

* * *

_"Well. I can see why you didn't ring me.."_

* * *

_Holy crap. This couldn't be happening_. No, Kate was sure she was going to wake up any minute and this would all be a horrible nightmare. _Though she could hardly call sex with Richard Castle a nightmare per se.._

Nobody had moved in about two minutes. Lanie was still stood in the doorway, seemingly looking for an explanation. Castle was stood halfway between the bedroom and the front door, still wearing nothing but his underwear and Kate was between the two of them, not entirely sure what to do or say.

"So," Castle began, but Kate stopped him with a single look. The phrase _'if looks could kill'_ came to mind.

"Lanie..it's..it isn't what it looks like!" Kate said. Good one, of course she's going to believe that. _Perhaps she should have let writer boy do the talking.._

"Not what it looks like?" Lanie questioned slowly. "'Cause to me it looks like I interrupted you two having a bit of fun."

"Exactly, no harm-" Castle broke off again at another glance from Beckett.

"Yeah, like I said - not what it looks like." Kate replied bitterly. She wouldn't exactly say they were 'having a bit of fun' as Lanie put it. Right now she was tempted to pull out her gun and shoot Richard bloody Castle. _Ugh how could he have this affect on her?!_ She'd never been one to give in that easily and all he had to do was stick his tongue down her throat a few times and she was putty in his hands!_ Not to mention the other places he'd 'stuck his tongue'.._.

Kate blushed at the direction her thoughts were headed, a blush that didn't go unnoticed by Lanie. "Uh huh, whatever you say girl." She said in an disbelieving voice. She thought it was about time Kate had some fun anyway, the girl was always working! "Now, are you going to let the man have a shower or not? I do believe that's what he was about to ask when I turned up."

Kate was tempted to say no. She knew the only reason Lanie had mentioned it was so that they could talk with a little more privacy. "Uh, yeah I guess so." Turning her gaze to Castle, she added "towels are in the cupboard next to the sink, feel free to use the soap and stuff that's in there."

"Great, thanks, bye Lanie." Castle said as he headed towards the bathroom.

The second the bathroom door was closed and they could hear the shower running, Lanie shut the front door and launched into a spiel about how it was about time Kate had some fun and how gorgeous Rick was, _especially naked_, and that there was nothing wrong with what they were doing.

Sinking to the sofa, Kate let out a sigh. "I don't want to want him Lanie. He's a self-centred, egotistical jackass with the attention span of a cocker spaniel. But I don't know what it is..it was like this back-" Kate stopped. She hadn't told Lanie that they'd met ten years ago. _Nobody_ knew they'd met ten years ago. They knew she'd been a model, obviously - her shots had been in the biggest magazines in the country and in Times Square for crying out loud, but they also knew it wasn't something she talked about very often. Modelling was in her past, she was a Homicide Detective now and that's all there was to it.

Unfortunately, Lanie picked up on it too. "Back when Kate?" With no reply, she added, "Katherine Beckett did you know this man before she Tisdale case?!"

_Oh god, what have I done?_ "Yes." Kate said, no point denying it, the truth would come out sooner or later. "We um, we met at a party ten years ago."

"And?" Lanie asked, pressing for more.

"And what?" Kate really didn't want to go into detail. Lanie raised her eyebrows. "Oh for goodness sake. Okay fine, we met ten years ago at a party, went back to his and the rest is history. I didn't see him again until I brought him in for questioning on the case. Happy now?"

"Ecstatic. Oh my goodness this is incredible! Why didn't you tell me this before?" Lanie's voice was full of excitement.

_Because I feel guilty. Because if I hadn't gone to that stupid party in the first place, I never would have met Richard Castle and I would have been there when my father found out my mother had been stabbed to death. If I'd just had the guts to say I was quitting earlier, I could have been with him when he needed me most._ "It's not something I'm particularly proud of Lanie. It was one night, that's all. Well, until he showed up again."

Hearing the water in the bathroom shut off, Lanie got up to leave. "This conversation isn't over Kate. But for now, I'll let you get back to your..fun." She finished with a smirk.

Getting up to see her out, Kate said, "Lanie, can you keep this to yourself? Please? I didn't say anything for a reason and I don't want everyone knowing now either.."

Lanie didn't say a word and left the apartment.

Kate shut the door and leaned her back against it. _Oh god, what do I do now?_!

* * *

Coming out of the bathroom and into the lounge a few moments later, wearing nothing but a towel to preserve his uh, modesty, Castle spots Beckett by the front door. "Lanie gone home then?"

Beckett throws him yet another dirty look.

"Beckett I don't know why you keep looking at me like that. It's not me that forgot their best friend was coming over because she was too preoccupied with her mouth around my-"

She interrupted with "Richard Castle I swear to god if you finish that sentence then there's going to be a shooting." It was taking all of her strength and willpower not to throw stuff at him. "Will you just go and put some bloody clothes on?!" She asked, slightly flustered at his semi-naked appearance.

"Why Detective Beckett? Having a hard time not throwing yourself at me are we?" He asked with a smirk.

_Yes_. "No. Just go and put some clothes on and go home. I don't want you in my sight!" She stormed into the kitchen, pulling down a glass from the cupboard and pouring herself a whisky. Some occasions called for it. Medicinal purposes and all that..

Chuckling as he went, Castle headed back into the bedroom to get dressed. Emerging two minutes later, he walked to the front door and threw "call me when we get a case. Or you want me again, 'cause we both know you will." Over his shoulder as he walked out with a wink. She threw the now empty glass at the closed door behind him. _Damn him and his stupid books._

Deciding she needed to try and relax, Beckett ran herself a hot bubble bath. Sinking in, she reached over and picked up the book she was nearly finished ready. Yeah_, that book._ _Storm Fall_. She was two chapters from the end and dying to know how it ended. Trying to avoid looking at those eyes that had convinced her to do things she shouldn't on more than one occasion on the book jacket, she opened the book to her last earmarked page and began reading.

Twenty minutes later and she was finished. And she had a hell of a lot of questions._ What kind of author kills off his main character for crying out loud?_ And all she could think is that if he hadn't killed off Derrick Storm, then he wouldn't be following her for 'research.' Yeah right. More like _'follow you around until I get you into bed again.'_ Argh she hated him with a passion!

The sound of her cell phone ringing interrupted her thoughts on 'ways to kill Richard Castle without getting caught and put in prison for life.' There weren't many, unfortunately. "Beckett." She answered.

* * *

A few blocks away in Central Park, Detectives Ryan and Esposito had arrived at the crime scene, where Lanie was already examining the body.

"What have we got tonight then?" Esposito asked.

"Evening boys. Jackson Hardy, 22. He was a student at NYU. Single GSW to the chest, fairly large calibre. And from the lack of blood in the vicinity, I'd say he wasn't killed under this tree." Lanie explained.

"Great, thanks Lanie. Um, no Beckett?" Ryan asked, looking around for the missing detective.

Suppressing a smile, Lanie replied "oh I'm sure she's got her _hands full_ already."

Esposito and Ryan exchanged glances. "Okay Lanie, what aren't you telling us?" Said Esposito.

"Oh nothing, I'm just saying Detective Beckett could possibly be a little _pre-occupied_ with a certain mystery novelist." Lanie said with a smile. Beckett would kill her but it was so worth it. "On second thoughts, give her a ring. She and I need to talk anyway."

Seeing they weren't going to get a straight answer about Beckett's whereabouts, Esposito pulled out his phone to call her.

* * *

Climbing out of the bath, Beckett grabbed a towel to dry off. Heading into her bedroom, she pulled some clean clothes out of the wardrobe and got ready to head down to Central Park to meet the boys and Lanie.

Grabbing her gun and opening the front door, she stopped. She really should ring Castle. She didn't particularly want to but she didn't need the Captain thinking something was off. Grumbling as she pulled out her phone, she bought his number up onto the screen and hit dial.

"Oh that was quick. Want me again already, hey? You are insatiable!" Was how Richard Castle answered the phone upon seeing it was Beckett calling.

"We have body." She supplied.

"Yes, yours and might I say how _magnificent_ it looks naked?"

Trying not to rise to the bait, she told him why she was calling. "A dead body, Castle." _Yours if you carry on like this._ "Central Park, I'm on my way. You're welcome to come along if you want." And she hung up.

* * *

Walking towards her crime scene, Beckett was glad to see Castle hadn't arrived yet. The last thing she needed was for him to start telling everyone what had been going on.

"Hey guys, what've we got tonight?" She asked. Esposito and Ryan both sent her a strange look and Lanie wouldn't look at her. _Uh oh_. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Oh nothing, just..no Castle?" Espo asked.

"He's on his way, should be here soon. Now, what have we got?" She turned the conversation away from Castle, she had a feeling they knew something. _Lanie_.

"Need another shower after another round, hey?" Lanie asked.

_Crap_. "No idea what you're talking about Lanie. I called him just before I left, said we had a body and he could tag along if he wanted." _Please don't say anything, please don't away anything._

Ryan and Esposito were looking from Lanie to Beckett so fast they were in danger of getting whiplash. "Another round, huh. So you and Castle..this like a thing now?" Esposito asked.

"No. There is nothing going on between Castle and me and I have no idea why you would think there was." She said with a pointed look at Lanie.

"Girl I don't know what your problem is, the guy's gorgeous! And oh god that che-"

"Evening." Came Castle's voice from behind them. "I hear we have a body? What..why is everybody looking at me like I'm the one who killed the dead guy on the floor?!"

"Oh, we're just trying to figure out why Detective Beckett here gets defensive every time your name is mentioned." Ryan supplied helpfully.

"Oh really?" Castle said with a smile. "Is that right..well, don't let her fool you boys - she wants me really, just won't admit it." Looking towards Beckett, he added, "isn't that right, Kate?"

Ryan and Esposito seemed shocked at the use of her first name. "_Kate_? Oh we see how it is.."

"No. You see nothing." Beckett said. "Because there's nothing to see, _right_ Castle?"

Deciding he'd already annoyed her enough for one night, he thought he better agree with her. "Right. Nothing to see, nothing going on. Now, anyone going to tell me about the dead guy?"

Pausing for a moment before speaking, Ryan and Esposito gave Castle and Beckett a rundown of what they knew so far - in very unconvinced voices. They were pretty sure there was a lot more to that story than either of them were letting on. They'd have to get it out of Lanie later.

"Right, well there's not a huge amount we can do tonight, not at this time. We'll contact family and friends in the morning, see if they know of anyone who could've done this. I'll head over to the precinct and get what I can from the database, but otherwise I say we call it a night?"

"Wait," Castle wasn't ready to leave Beckett yet. He knew she'd need a couple of days to cool off before letting him get close again, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to try and win her round. "Why don't you all come back to mine for a bit? You can run this guy from my computer and we can get the background on him done in half the time and have a couple beers whilst we do it?" He suggested.

Ryan and Espo were up for it, Lanie was accompanying the body back to the morgue, so that left Beckett. "What do you say, Beckett?"

Struggling to find a plausible excuse, Beckett agreed.

* * *

An hour and a half and a few drinks each later, they'd done all they could for the night. While the boys chatted about their theories on the case, Beckett slipped into the bathroom to call Lanie. She didn't care if it was the middle of the night and she was waking her up.

"Hey Kate, what's up?" Lanie answered on the third ring.

"_What's up_? You tell Espo and Ryan that I'm sleeping with Richard Castle and then ask me _what's up_?!" She hissed, hoping the boys didn't come looking for her.

"Well technically, I didn't tell them.."

"Lanie." Kate warned.

"Okay okay, I didn't tell them but sort of insinuated there could be something going on. Oh come on Kate don't be mad. The guy is perfect, he's handsome, clever.." She trailed off.

"Yeah, well you're welcome to him." Beckett muttered.

"Oh no, a control freak like you with someone you can't control? Hell no, he's all yours! Seems you can't control him _or_ your actions when he's around.." Lanie replied excitedly.

"Oh Lanie, what do I do?" Beckett asked in despair.

"What do you want to do? 'Cause you don't do that enough."

Beckett thought for a moment. What did she want to do? "Honestly? I want to rip his clothes off and jump his bones the second we're alone! But I can't, Lanie."

"Why not?" Her friend asked.

"I..it's complicated. Not to mention the fact I can't stand the man when he isn't in my bedroom keeping his mouth busy with something other than talking..he's impossible Lanie. Completely impossible. Doesn't listen to a word I say, ignores any rule I put in place, comes up with stupid crazy theories for my cases and doesn't understand the meaning of the word no!"

Lanie laughed. "Sounds like you've got it bad!"

"What!" Kate exclaimed. "No! Of course I don't." _Do I?_

"Okay, you keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. Now get off the phone and have more wild monkey sex with writer boy!" Lanie said, hanging up the phone.

Kate splashed her face with cold water from the sink. She didn't know what to do. Things were way too complicated to start a relationship, especially with Richard Castle. He still didn't know what had happened that night ten years ago and she didn't much feel like telling him either. But she had to do something. Every time she saw him she felt guilty for abandoning her father the way she did that night and then she felt even more guilty when her body reacted the way it did to him. She didn't want to want him like she did. She wanted to have a platonic relationship with him, one where he wasn't constantly talking her back into bed. _But oh god he was good_.. And why would he even want a relationship anyway? He was a playboy, different woman each month - she'd seen it all over page six for years. It wasn't likely that he wanted to settle down and have a monogamous relationship. It was sex. Just sex. Mind blowing sex, but sex all the same. And she'd had her fun but now it was over. She couldn't live like this, pretending she didn't want him when that's all she wanted. No. She was done with him and from now on, if he had to be around then it was purely on a professional basis.

Heading out of the bathroom, Beckett almost walked straight into Castle's rock hard chest. _Don't go there, Kate_. "Oh there you are." He said. "I was just coming to find you, thought you'd fallen down the toilet or something! Anyway, Ryan and Espo have gone, said to tell you bye and they'll see you in the morning. And then just after they left, the heavens opened and it's raining cats and dogs out there! Phew, it's awful! So, if you don't want to walk home in this then I have a perfectly good spare room you can use for the night?"

Beckett stopped and processed what he'd said. Standing in the silence, she could hear the rain hammering down and the distant rumble of thunder heading closer. No, she didn't want to go home in this, but staying at his apartment? Even if it was the spare room. She wasn't sure she could handle being so close but so far from him. But then, what better way to put her new plan of a simply platonic relationship to the test than staying in his house but not with him?

Castle interrupted her thoughts. "So. What're you gonna do Kate?"

* * *

**_A/N: so, thoughts? I'd really appreciate them for this chapter cause like 5 hours after I started writing it I'm still not sure how I feel about it! But, I decided I'd put it up anyway and hope you like it more than me! So yeah, please let me know what you think!_**


	5. Chapter 5

**_A/N: once again a massive thank you to everyone who has reviewed followed and favourited, I'm ecstatic at your response to this story! Two reviews in particular helped me write this chapter, which I will explain at the end, so hope you like chapter 5!_**

**_Does go slightly M rated, but only for two paragraphs and I've highlighted where it starts and where it goes back to T, just a quick warning in case you want to skip that part :)_**

* * *

_"So, what're you gonna do, Kate?"_

* * *

_What was she going to do? _To be honest, she wasn't really sure. She could go home. Surely it wouldn't take her too long to find a cab? It might be almost 2am but this was New York. But it was raining - her chances of getting a cab before she got soaked were pretty much impossible.

So that left her with the alternative - sleeping in Castle's spare room. It wouldn't be that bad, would it? It was only a few hours after all and given the, uh _activities_ that had gone on earlier tonight, they'd both probably be asleep before their heads hit the pillow. And surely Martha or Alexis was home? He wouldn't try anything with them in the house, not unless he wanted them awoken by the sound of her gun.

"Okay sure, if you don't mind I'll sleep in the spare room, thanks." Beckett said, not quite meeting Castle's eye.

"Yeah of course, hang on, I'll just grab you something to sleep in.." He said, heading into his own bedroom. Coming out a minute later, he handed her a folded t-shirt. "Here you go..spare bedroom is straight upstairs, second door on the left. There'll be a clean toothbrush in the drawer under the sink. Oh, and don't worry about making noise - Mother and Alexis are both out tonight."

Brilliant. If she'd have known that before, she might not have agreed to stay. She had a sneaky suspicion that that was why he'd left it out until now. She muttered a quick "thanks" and headed up the stairs to bed, ignoring his "sweet dreams, detective" as she went.

Fifteen minutes later and Beckett was wondering how she was going to get any sleep tonight. She'd brushed her teeth and splashed her face with water, and was now under the duvet wearing one of Richard Castle's t-shirts. It was the t-shirt that was causing the problems - it smelt like him. She couldn't stand it. It was like he was there, next to her but she couldn't touch him. Sighing heavily, Beckett turned onto her front in a bid to get more comfortable. After every conversation they had together, she was finding it more and more difficult to deny that she didn't want him. She did, so bad. Had done since the moment she saw those eyes again back in the interrogation room. And he knew it, which made it worse. He was so goddamn cocky and full of himself, she didn't know how other people could stand to be around him.

* * *

**(Rating Change - M, first two paragraphs)**

"Oh _god_, Castle..oh I'm so close, _please_!" Beckett begged, as his fingers explored her heat wickedly, teasing her in all the right places. His tongue began a slow tease of her breast, moving closer and closer to a puckered nipple. She was desperate, _desperate_ for him to let her come, _so close_..and_ oh god_, she was there, just one more flick of his finger and she'd come undone..

Kate Beckett awoke with a start. Looking at the bedside clock, she saw it was 5.30am - only about three hours since she'd fallen asleep, imagining ways in which she could murder Richard Castle. She tried to remember what had woken her. The dream. It was a vivid one - her and Castle, in bed together and he was doing things with his hands and mouth and _oh god he should not be allowed to do things like that _and then, just as she'd been about to let go, she'd woken up, aroused and wanting. She lay there for a few minutes, trying to decide what to do. She could finish off herself, of course, but that was nowhere near as fun as when she had Castle doing that for her.

**(back to T rated.)**

Deciding a glass of water might help cool her off, she padded downstairs and into the kitchen. _Just like that night ten years ago,_ she thought. Except this time, her phone had been by her bed all night and she would have heard it ringing if anything had happened.

Taking a large gulp of water from the glass, she heard a voice behind her. "Hey, couldn't sleep either?" Castle asked.

_No, I woke up just as you were about to-_ "I just woke up. Couldn't get back to sleep. Thought some water would help." She answered. There was no way she was telling him what had woken her up.

"Ah I see. Well I could make us some hot chocolate if you like? Might help us get another couple of hours before we head into the precinct."

"Er yeah okay, sure." Beckett replied, watching him as he pulled mugs from the cupboard and got the milk out of the fridge.

Five minutes later and they were curled up on the sofa, steaming mugs of hot chocolate in hand and not saying a word. The early morning light was starting to stream in the windows and Beckett knew she wouldn't be getting back to sleep, not now.

"So," Castle said, breaking the silence between them. "You think this is going to be an interesting case?" He said.

The case she could talk about, safe ground. "I don't know, I mean it looks like a straightforward shooting, but from what we pulled on the vic last night, I can't see anyone that would want to to this. He had a good job, no financial worries and no trace of any drug abuse, so I'm thinking it could be more complicated."

"Sex." Castle said in reply.

Beckett almost spat out her mouthful of hot chocolate. "Excuse me?" She said, after she'd swallowed it down.

Castle smirked at her obvious discomfort. "The motive, detective, not you and I."

"I..no, that's, that's not-"

He interrupted. "Oh we both know that's where your mind was headed, don't lie. Anyway, I was talking about the case. You've already said it wasn't financial problems or habit he couldn't kick, so it must be sex. Three oldest reasons for murder in the book - sex, money or drugs."

He was right, of course. "Why don't we wait and see what talking to the family and friends brings before we jump to conclusions, hey?"

"I'm not the one that jumped to a conclusion though, am I?" He questioned, bringing up her earlier confusion when he mentioned sex.

Ignoring his comment as it led down a path she didn't want to go down, Beckett said: "do you know how I got to sleep earlier? By imagining all the possible ways I could get rid of you. Immensely satisfying too."

"Oh you know I can satisfy you."

_Dammit, walked into that one._

Standing up a few minutes later, Castle took her empty mug and put it in the dishwasher with his. "Right, well I'm going to head back to bed for an hour or so, you should probably do the same."

Knowing she wouldn't be able to sleep, she said "oh no, I won't be able to sleep now, it's getting light. I'll just head home and get ready for work - see you later?" _Oh crap_, she shouldn't have made the 'see you later' sound like a question. He'd think she actually wanted him there now!

If he did pick up on it, he didn't say. "Beckett, you can't have had more than three hours sleep and we're gonna have a long day by the looks of things." He paused, uncertain of whether he should say what he was thinking. "Look, why don't you come back to bed with me. I promise I won't try anything and you have full permission to shoot me or whatever if I do but we both know you'll sleep like a baby in my arms." He shot out quickly, before she could stop him.

He was right, Beckett knew that. She knew full well that if she was wrapped up in him, she wouldn't be having trouble sleeping. But still, was it such a good idea? Sleep winning over fuelling herself with caffeine for the day, she relented. But not without "fine. But I swear to god if one finger goes out of place, Alexis will be your only child. Got it?"

The threat to his manhood seemed to work. "Got it. Now come on, I'm getting cold."

* * *

An hour later and Kate still hadn't got back to sleep. Castle had stayed true to his word and not moved an inch out of place, his arms wrapped around her as she lay with her back pressed to his front. Once again Richard Castle had talked her into bed - except this time he wasn't doing anything about it. Her dream from earlier still on her mind - and other body parts - she turned to face him, careful not to wake him. She looked at him sleeping for a moment, smiling to herself. At least when he was asleep he wasn't irritating her with stupid comments.

Before she could talk herself out of it, she lightly pressed her lips to his neck. She felt him begin to stir, her lips waking him up. Rolling onto his back, giving her better access, her lips began to move down his chest. She was at the top of his shorts when he realised what was happening. "Woah, Beckett, what are you doing? No, stop!"

She grinned up at him. "Oh you want me to stop? 'Cause that's not what I'm getting from down here."

Hauling her up so she was eye level with him, he growled out "I've got the most beautiful woman I've ever met trailing her lips down my body. I'm not a saint."

"Well are you gonna let me get back to what I started then?" She asked, she was desperate for him. Again.

"No."

_Wait, what?_ "No? What do you mean no?"

"I'd have thought you of all people would know what it means. Wasn't it just last night you asked me 'which part of the word no I didn't understand'?" He said, sitting up.

"Castle, I am doing what you've been trying to get me to do since we met and now you don't want me?" She looked hurt.

"Of course I want you, I think there's evidence under the sheets that says that. But we can't."

_Talk about role reversal. _"Oh really? And why not?" She asked.

_She wasn't going to like this._ "Because it's not fair Kate, not on either of us."

"Castle, it's sex."

"Will you just shut up and let me talk? Thank you. Kate, it's been obvious since we met that there's something here, a spark or something." _Spark? More like an entire firework display. "_But before we go any further, we need to figure out what 'this' is."

"It's sex Castle, that's it. Nothing more, nothing less. It's what I want. It's what we both want!" _Isn't it?_

"Is it though? Is it what you want? Because I'm willing to bet that given half the chance you'd have more."

"Oh so that's what this is." Beckett was getting angry now. "You think that just because I'm a woman I can't have no-strings attached sex? That I'm going to want a relationship from it? I can't believe you!"

"No no no, oh god no. That's not what I was getting at at all. I'm saying that I'd have more if I was given the chance. If you let me in enough, I'd be happy to fall into this with you!" He backtracked, not wanting to infuriate her anymore. She did have a gun, after all.

Kate didn't know what to say. She didn't want a relationship. Couldn't have a relationship, she was still too broken. But sex? Sex she could do. "For gods sake Castle, I'm finally admitting that I want you. I want you so bad it woke me in the middle of the night, I've wanted you since the moment we met and now that I'm telling you this, you don't want me?" She didn't mean to say so much but it sort of just came out.

This was not going the way he planned. "Kate you're taking this the wrong way. I think we've both established that I want you and I knew you wanted me so it's nice to hear you finally admit it. But we can't just work together everyday and end up in bed together every night. What kind of a relationship is that? What happens when I want more? Because I will, I know I will." He stopped for a moment, determined not to let her get away, not again. "Do you remember what I said to you on the couch ten years ago? I said something along the lines of only asking you there to talk and that was fine by me if that was all you wanted, I wasn't going to force you into something you didn't want. And then I said 'you're so beautiful, but you're more than that...you're intelligent, self-assured and confident.' And do you know what? I meant every word and I still stand by what I said right now. And I know you aren't going to let me in easily and I'm okay with that, just give me something, anything that says I'm not doing this alone." He stopped, looking at her to try and figure out wah she was going to say.

Kate took a deep breath processing what he'd said. "Seriously? You're bringing that up now?"

_Uh oh. This didn't sound like it was going where he wanted.._

"You're asking for too much Castle. What's wrong with us working a case and then coming home and falling into bed together? The sex is great, mind blowing even, but I don't want more and I can't promise you that I ever will! You're pushing too hard too soon and you've pushed too far this time. I'm going home."

And with that, she walked out of his bedroom. Five minutes later he heard her come back down the stairs and out of the front door.

* * *

Less than an hour later and Kate was at the precinct. After her argument with Castle, she'd gone home for a quick shower and a change of clothes before heading back out again. She'd made coffee as soon as she got in, after her night, she was going to need it.

Half an hour later, Esposito and Ryan arrived.

"Morning Beckett, you're in early today." Ryan said.

"Yeah, busy day. Lots to do."

"What, no Castle today?" Espo asked. Kate shot him a look. "Oo, trouble in paradise is there?" He asked teasingly.

"What are you, twelve? Why don't you do something useful and find a next of kin contact for the dead guy we found last night." Beckett said. She wasn't in the mood for his attitude today.

Sensing there was more to it than she was going to let on, Esposito got to work. Shortly after, he found an address for his family in Newark. Deciding they'd take a drive down there, Esposito and Ryan left Beckett alone with her thoughts. Unfortunately, her thoughts tended to be about Richard Castle. _She thought he'd be here by now._ She wasn't going to ring him though. Oh no, he was in the wrong and she'd let him in on the case because the captain wanted her to but that was it. She was so angry with him!

Deciding to keep busy, Beckett headed to the morgue to see if Lanie had got them any evidence yet.

"Morning girl" came Lanie's bright and cheery voice when she spotted Kate. "What, no writer boy with you today?"

"That's the second time I've been asked that this morning, thanks to you and your big mouth, Espo and Ryan think there's something going on!" Kate was angry. Mainly at Castle but she was taking it out Lanie anyway.

"Kate honey, I'm sorry." Lanie said. She could tell Kate was really upset about this. "Look, do you know why I told Espo and Ryan?" Kate shook her head. "Because they can see as much as I can that he's good for you. Let me finish." She said, as Kate tried to interrupt. "They can see he keeps you on your toes and challenges you - because he knows you Kate."

"It was ten years ago and one night, Lanie, he doesn't know me."

"I think he knows you better than you think. You deserve to have a bit of fun Kate, you're always working and it isn't good for you. Espo and Ryan can see that too, that's why I told them - I wanted help convincing you to go for it! I know you've kept yourself locked away since your mothers murder and we'll all be here for you Kate, I promise. Whatever happens, whatever you decide, we aren't going to turn our backs on you. But you need to give him a chance!"

"We had an argument." Kate admits.

"Oh, so that's why you're here so early without him then."

"I don't know. I thought he'd still turn up, for the case. He seemed pretty interested in it. But I haven't seen him since I left his early this morning."

"Oh, so you spent the night did you?" Lanie asks with a wink.

"It wasn't like that, not really." And Kate explains what happened, about her dream and getting up for a drink. Having hot chocolate and him convincing her to come back to bed with him. How he actually listened for once and didn't try anything on. How she was the one to initiate it and he turned her down. About their argument and what he'd said.

When she was finished, Lanie was staring at her.

"You mean he pretty much said you'd be in a proper relationship and you walked out?" She couldn't believe it. "Kate, you've been in love with the guys books for ten years, I know you have. I know you've read them all more times than you can count and they give you something you never got. Why is it so much to ask that you start a relationship with a guy behind the words you know off by heart? I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but at least give it a go!" Lanie pressed.

"And if it doesn't work? If he hates the real me so much he regrets saying all of it?"

"He won't hate you, Kate. He can't, the man is crazy about you. But anyway, even if it doesn't work, the sex is great, right?"

Kate laughed, trust Lanie to put it into perspective. "Thank you Lanie." She says, giving her friend a hug.

Turning to walk out of the morgue, hears Lanie call out. "Don't you want to know what I found on the body?"

"Call Esposito or Ryan, they'll deal with it. I have something I need to do.." And she was gone.

"You get him, girl." Lanie says, chuckling to herself.

* * *

Standing outside Castle's apartment, Beckett was trying to muster up the courage to knock on the door. She wasn't even sure what she'd say, but Lanie was right. She'd hardly dated since her mothers murder and it wasn't healthy. So what if it didn't work out? It's what life was about, making mistakes and learning from them.

Raising her hand to knock, Beckett took a deep breath before her hand made contact with the door. _No turning back now._

After what felt like an eternity, the door opened. But the smile on Kate's face faded as she saw who had opened the door to her.

* * *

**_A/N: so, what do you think? Bit happier with this chapter than the last, so I hope you like it just as much!_**

**_Also, all of your comments and reviews mean a lot but two in particular helped this chapter - _NoOrdinaryLines_ mentioned not being sure about Lanie telling Espo and Ryan about Castle and Beckett when Kate asked her not to (but said the bathroom conversation evened it out) so I hope I backed my idea up in this chapter! _****_And _speedofloveSK_ wanted to see how the relationship progressed from here and when Castle would stop being a jackass and wanting Beckett for her body, so I hope I addressed that too. Both of your reviews inspired this chapter so it's on your head if you hate it ;) (I'm joking. Sort of.)_**


	6. Chapter 6

**_A/N: thank you for all your lovely reviews on the last chapter! Sorry it's taken a couple of days to get this chapter up, but I literally didn't know what to write. And then I started to type and the whole chapter sort of came out so I hope it's okay..here we go!_**

* * *

_But the smile on Kates face faded as she saw who had opened the door to her._

* * *

A woman had answered the door. A woman Beckett was fairly certain was Castle's first ex-wife, Meredith - Alexis' mom.

"Can I help you?" The woman she thought was Meredith asked.

Beckett's brain whirred into action. "Uh, yeah." Scrambling for her badge, she pulled it out to show Meredith. "Detective Beckett, NYPD. I need to talk to Cas- Mr. Castle. Is he here?"

"Sure! He's just back there getting.._sorted_, he'll be out in a minute." She said in a cheery voice, letting Beckett into the apartment. "Anyway, I have to go. People to see, places to be and all that!" Gathering up her things, she called out a goodbye to Rick. "Bye kitten, I'll see you soon!" And she was out of the door.

Beckett didn't know what to do. Did she leave before Castle came out? Stay and ask him what was going on? Luckily, she didn't have to make the choice. Walking out of his bedroom, Castle was just pulling on a shirt as he spotted Kate. "Beckett! What are you doing here?" He asked, "oh, has Meredith gone? I didn't hear her, I was getting out of the shower."

"Yeah she's gone, let me in on her way out." Was all Beckett said.

"Oh no. No, you've got it all wrong Beckett, I swear." Castle could tell from the tone of her voice what she thought had been going on. "She came over to talk about taking Alexis on holiday to London, wanted to know when was best with school and everything."

"Right. So that's why you were showering just as she left?" Beckett couldn't believe she'd almost trusted this man with her heart.

"She said something about checking her emails whilst she was here, wanted to use my laptop. That's it, I promise." She'd come to him and now he was about to push her away again.

"Whatever. None of my business, just came to see if you wanted in on the case or not? Lanie had something for us, Espo and Ryan should have got to her by now." Beckett lied. She wasn't telling him why she came. Not now.

"Kate, please. Of course it's your business, do you think I'd really be so much of a jackass to say what I did to you this morning and then sleep with my ex-wife?" Beckett narrowed her eyes at him. "Okay maybe sometimes I can be a jackass but this was not what you think."

Brushing it off before he realised how much she cared, she said "whatever Castle, not my problem."

He could tell she was upset. She wouldn't admit it of course, god she'd only admitted this morning that she wanted him but he thought for a split second when he saw her standing there that she had come to say she'd changed her mind. _Perhaps not._

"She's got nothing on you, you know." He says, shocking her.

"Castle, I..what?"

"Especially in bed. Oh god, me and her had some good times but compared to you? Nope, not even on the scale." He smiled.

"I'm not your jealous girlfriend, Castle. You don't have to say stuff like that to me. What you do with your ex-wife is none of my business. Besides, we've had sex a grand total of what? Six times? You have _no_ idea what I can do in bed." She was flirting with him, giving him a taste of his own medicine for a change.

"You better stop right now, young lady, or I swear to god-"

"What Castle? You'll let me finish what I started this morning?" She was glad to see their earlier argument - and Meredith - seemed to have been forgotten.

He didn't have a comeback for that one, and she laughed. _God she was beautiful when she laughed._

"Kate.." He whispered.

"Yes Castle? Can I help you?" She moved to the couch and he followed, sitting just a couple of inches away from her, both of them leaning their elbows on the top of the sofa and resting their heads in their hands.

"I meant what I said you know, about you being the most beautiful women I've ever met." He looked her in the eye and smiled at her the blush forming from his compliment. "But I also meant what else I said. That you're so much more than your beauty. You're fiercely intelligent and incredibly self-assured. It's magnificent to watch you at work you know, seeing you bring out the tough guy when you're interrogating the suspects but then five minutes later you're consoling a relative with so much compassion. I've never known anyone like you Kate and I don't think I'll ever meet anyone else like you."

Kate didn't know what to say. She sort of believed him when he said he hadn't slept with Meredith this morning. She didn't really think he could say those things to her and then jump into bed with his ex-wife, he wasn't that much of a jackass. "I- I'm sorry, Castle. For this morning. I bit your head off I know and it wasn't fair. I've been denying this, this _thing_ between us since we met and um, probably been giving you mixed messages."

"You think?" Castle cut in with a laugh. "Though I can't complain too much. Last night at your apartment? God I love it when you're angry."

Kate shook her head and rolled her eyes._ It had been pretty amazing though_.."I think what I'm trying to say, Castle, is that perhaps I reacted too quickly to what you said. But I'm scared. Scared you won't like what's underneath, scared I'm going to end up with my heart broken. I haven't let anyone close in a very long time and it's terrifying."

"Ten years, right?" She nodded. "I know you don't want to tell me about that, and I won't push you. If you ever want to tell me, then I'll always be here. And I hope you do one day, I hope you get to a point where you trust me enough to tell me why you left that night and why you're like the shadow of the person you were back then, but when _you_ want to."

"Thank you, Castle. I know I'm not the easiest person to get to know and I don't let people in but I'm trying with you, I really am. I spoke to Lanie and she convinced me to give it a go. So, here I am, asking you if you'll forgive me for what I said this morning and perhaps we could see where this is going?"

"Before I agree, do you mean actual dates?"

Laughing at him, she agreed, "yes Castle, actual dates. Might even let you kiss me if you're lucky."

"Sounds good to me!" Castle said, as he leaned in to kiss her softly on the lips. "You're stuck with me now." He whispered.

* * *

"Yo Espo, what have we got on our vic so far?" Beckett called out as her and Castle arrived back at the precinct.

"Wow, someone's perked up a bit." Esposito said. "Who are you and what have you done with Detective Beckett?"

"Haha very funny. You gonna tell me what we've got or am I going to Ryan?" Beckett replied, a teasing glint in her eyes.

"Yeah yeah, whatever. Anyway, turns out our victim had a girlfriend-"

"Had? Not anymore?" Castle asked.

"No, Hardy's sister told us they broke up about a month ago..pretty messy from what she gave us."

"Okay," Beckett said, "bring her in and see what she has to say for herself."

A couple of hours later and they'd had something that didn't happen very often - an open and shut case. The ex-girlfriend had been racked with guilt over what she'd done and confessed pretty much straight away.

"So. What now?" Castle asked, sitting down next to Beckett's desk.

"Paperwork." She replied with a grimace.

Castle stood back up again. "And that is my cue to leave. But, I was thinking.."

"Again? Careful Castle, you'll get a reputation." Beckett teased.

"Anyway, do you..um, do you want.."

"Spit it out, Castle. I don't have all day." She said, looking up at him.

Castle took a deep breath before he spoke again. "Do you want to go out to dinner tonight?"

"Richard Castle, are you asking me out on a date?" Kate mock teased, laughing at the slight blush forming on his cheeks.

"Don't laugh at me, do you know when I last asked someone out on a date?!" He said. "I normally just go out and women are all over me!"

"You sure your head's gonna fit out the door, Castle?"

"Are you going to answer my question or not?" Castle said, sounding slightly hurt.

"Depends. Is it a date or not?" Oh she loved teasing him.

Fun, playful Kate was the side he loved the most. _Wait, did he just say..?_

Beckett interrupted his thoughts. "Castle? Look, if you don't want to go on a date then just say-"

"Yes, Beckett, I am asking you out on a date?"

"Then yes, Castle. I would love to go out for dinner with you tonight, on a date." She clarified.

Castle let out a sigh of relief. "Great! Pick you up at 8?" She nodded. "Brilliant, see you later then!" He shot her an award-winning smile and headed towards the lift, in a very good mood. He had a date! With Kate Beckett! _Who would have thought _that_ ten years ago.._

* * *

Arriving back at his apartment in a particularly joyful mood, Castle headed straight to the fridge and pulled out a can of squirty cream. Just as he was about to squirt some into his mouth, something caught his eye. Spinning around, he saw Meredith sat on his sofa.

"Meredith! What're you doing here?" He asked in surprise. "Wait, Alexis is at school and Mother is..well I don't know where Mother is but it's definitely not here - how did you get in?"

"Oh your housekeeper let me in, she was just leaving when I got here. Now kitten, we need to talk." Meredith simpered.

"Talk? Oh god, Alexis is ok isn't she?" Castle asked in panic.

Meredith was confused. "Alexis? Yes she's fine, why would you think that's what I was going to talk about?"

"Well she's the only thing _we_ need to talk about together, so of course that's where my mind jumped to."

"Kitten no, we still have so much fun together! Me and you..it's just like old times!"

"Yeah, still sleeping with your director?" Castle retorted. He didn't really want to be speaking to Meredith right now. He'd rather jump around the room like a teenage girl - _he had a date with Kate Beckett tonight!_ He was more excited about going on a date with her and actually having a proper conversation than he was about the possibility of getting her into bed again. _Woah, who am I what have I done with Richard Castle?! _He thought to himself.

"Oh kitten," Castle winced at the use of her pet name for him, he'd always hated it. "You know I said that was a mistake! Divorcing you was the worst thing I've ever done! Why don't we go into the bedroom and relive old times?" She moved over to where he was standing and tried to take his hand, but he shook her off.

Rick had never felt so unenthusiastic about her propositioning him like this. "Meredith, stop. Whatever you think is going to happen - it's not."

"But kitten, we were so good together.." She purred.

Pushing away from her, Castle moved to sit on the sofa. "Look, I'm with someone now ok?" Meredith's face fell. "That detective you let in earlier? We're..well I don't know what we are but that doesn't matter. What matters is that me and you are over - for good."

Meredith was close to tears, he couldn't do this - _he_ couldn't be the one to stop it, that was her job! She didn't want him thinking she depended on him! "That snooty faced cow? Wow Rick, your standards must be slipping." She said spitefully.

That was too far for Rick. "Out. I want you out of this apartment now. I am not going to let you get away with talking about Kate like that! She's ten times the woman you are, the only reason I tolerate you is for Alexis' sake!" He might have only known Beckett for a week or so, not including their night ten years ago but he felt like he'd known her forever. He knew it was _cliche_ to say, and he was a writer - _he hated cliches_, but Kate was different, special.

Meredith couldn't believe he was doing this. He'd never reacted like this before! "Oh come on, you're overreacting! She can't be that amazing..I bet you'd forget her as soon as you jumped into bed with me!"

Not likely. No, Kate Beckett was impossible to forget, he had ten years of not having her to know that. "Meredith, I want you out." He repeated calmly, walking over to the door to open it for her.

She started to cry, causing Rick to sigh in frustration,_ she was so dramatic_.

"Oh god, I wasn't going to tell you this but I-" she stopped, letting out a few more crocodile tears. "I'm in, I'm in trouble Rick! You need to help me!"

_Always the actress_. "Whatever Meredith, I'm sure you're just _overreacting_. Now if you wouldn't mind, I have a book to write. I assume you're still taking Alexis shopping and for dinner after school?" She nodded and sniffled. "Great. Well have fun and make sure she's home by ten, it's a school night."

Seeing she was getting nowhere, Meredith left - much to Castle's relief.

* * *

At 5pm on the dot, Beckett turned off her computer and gathered her things ready to leave.

"Someone's in a rush." Ryan said.

"Yeah, you got a hot date or something Beckett?" Espo teased.

Beckett turned to face them, seeing them both looking up at her with excited little faces. "Wouldn't you two like to know." She shot over her shoulder, heading towards the lift and out of the precinct.

Arriving back home, she ran herself a nice hot bath and relaxed with a glass of wine. She was looking forward to tonight. She never thought she'd feel like this about a date. Sure, she'd dated in when she was modelling and in college and a couple of times since becoming a cop, but nothing serious. Nothing that gave her butterflies just thinking about it. She grinned to herself, suddenly extremely glad she'd taken Lanie's advice and gone for it.

A little while later, she hopped out of the bath and started deciding on an outfit. Knowing Castle, it'd be somewhere fancy so she wanted to make the effort. Pulling out what felt like every dress in her wardrobe, she found one she'd never worn. She didn't know if she dared to, but slipped it on anyway. It was a white number, stopping about an inch above her knees. Although covering the majority of her front from her chest to her knees, the sides at her waist were cut out and from the top of her neck to the bottom of her back were completely bare. She hesitated for moment, looking at herself in the mirror. It wasn't anything like what she usually wore, but Lanie had convinced her to buy it on a shopping trip last month. _Guess that was another thing she had Lanie to thank for_ - this dress would drive Castle crazy. Biting her lip, Beckett smiled. She did look pretty good..

It was weird - ten years ago and this would have been the first thing she would have chosen, But now? Now she was a cop. She hadn't worn a dress in three months. Most people didn't even realise she was Kate Beckett - model sensation of 1998. _And that's the way she liked it. _Kate from ten years ago would also never have hesitated about choosing a dress like this, back then, she knew she looked good - now? She was a little more self conscious these days.

Taking the dress off to do her make up, she sat in front of the mirror. Deciding she'd aim to drive Castle even crazier, she kept her eye make up minimal but used a bright red lipstick on her lips, making them stand out against the white dress. Pulling her dress back on again and adding a pair of strappy black and gold five inch stilettos, she was ready. Looking at the clock, she realised it was only 7:10 - still almost an hour until Castle arrived to pick her up, so she headed into the kitchen to pour herself another glass of wine.

* * *

Back at the loft, Castle was almost ready. He showered, shaved and pulled out a crisp white shirt and black trousers, and a matching jacket to finish off. He was excited about tonight, couldn't wait in fact. He knew the Kate of ten years ago looked incredible but the Beckett he'd seen recently had hidden her figure under boring cop clothes. He knew how gorgeous and sexy she was and was looking forward to her showing that off tonight.

About to head out the door, he heard his phone ring. He answered it, only slightly disappointed when it wasn't Beckett calling him to check up on him. However, all thoughts of Beckett left his mind as soon as he heard what Meredith was saying though. "Rick, oh my god, please tell me Alexis is with you?"

"What? No! She's with you - you were meeting her from school!"

"I did and oh god, where is she? We went shopping and then came to a restaurant for dinner..just as we got here she sat down and I popped to the ladies room and when I came back out she was gone!" She was close to hysterical now.

"She's probably looking for you - I know how long you can take in the bathroom remember! Or maybe she saw a friend and went to have a chat while she was waiting." Yeah, that was it. She'd be with a friend.

"Do you not think I thought of that?" She snapped. "I've looked everywhere I could think of that she would go - I was only gone ten minutes, for goodness sake. She's not a baby, she can wait by herself!"

"How long since you saw her?" He asked.

"About 30 minutes." Meredith replied.

"What? You haven't seen her in half an hour and you're only calling me now? What were you thinking? I'm assuming Alexis isn't answering her phone..could still be on silent from school though." He wasn't panicking too much - she was 15 after all, not 5. She'd be fine. However, Meredith's next comment washed all rational thought from his mind.

"Rick - she left her phone at the restaurant, her whole bag is still here!"

Trying to stay calm, Castle said "okay, well you stay there in case she comes back. Ask anyone if they saw her leave. I'll ring my mother and then we'll call Alexis' friends, see if she's with any of them."

"Okay. Oh god, I'm so worried about her!"

"She'll be okay." He reassured her. "Call me if you hear anything." He cut off. Frozen for a moment, he suddenly realised he needed to call his mother. Quickly explaining what had happened, she told him she was on her way round. After that, he started calling any of Alexis' friends that might possibly know where she was.

Half an hour later and there was still no sign of Alexis. None of her friends had heard from her or knew where she was, and no one at the restaurant had seen her leave. Deciding it was probably time to call the police, Castle suddenly remembered where he was meant to be. _Beckett_. He looked at the time - 7.30. He was supposed to pick her up half an hour ago. Oh god, she was going to think he'd forgotten about their date! But right now, Alexis came first. He'd call the police and then when they knew what was happening, he'd call Beckett.

* * *

On the other side of town, Kate Beckett poured herself another glass of wine, just about holding back the tears. S_he couldn't believe he hadn't even called to cancel. S_he knew he was trouble with a capital T, she just wished her heart knew that too, and then maybe it wouldn't be breaking into a million pieces as she realised he wasn't coming_._

* * *

_**A/N: so, what do you think? Yeah, I went with the obvious at the door! Hope I took it in a direction that you liked though :) sort of lulled you into a false sense of security there though, guess you'll have to wait and see if Castle and Beckett get their happy ending! Your reviews so far have been amazing and they've really helped me write the rest of the story, so thank you! Let me know what you think about this one :)**_

_**Oh, and I try and write in 'American' (or simplified English as I call it ;) joking!) and I think I write 'mom' most of the time but I refuse to change 'lift' to 'elevator' so you'll have to do that yourself ;)**_


	7. Chapter 7

**_A/N: thank you thank you thank you - your reviews are very much appreciated! It's far from perfect I know, and I know theres mistakes. It has been pointed out that my tenses chop and change occasionally, so I'm sorry about this and I'll try and make sure it makes sense! Also, apparently my 'British is showing' (ha) but I can't really apologise for that(?)To me, everything makes sense in terms of the words I use but if they don't because you're American then I'm sorry. But I'll try and make sure I use more 'Americanised' words/phrases if you like :) anyway, here's chapter 7!_**

* * *

His mother had arrived and was making him tea to try and keep him calm. He didn't know what tea would do, but appreciated her help all the same.

Deciding one last time to check Alexis wasn't back with Meredith, Castle picked up his cell to call her. "Meredith, have you found her yet?" He asked.

"No, not yet." Came her reply, "I'm sure she's okay, we just have to stay calm, she's a sensible girl. She wouldn't do anything stupid."

"Yeah I know..but I'm going to call the police now, the more people we have looking for her, the quicker we'll be able to find her. You stay there and I'll tell the police where you are, they'll want to know as much as you can give them."

"No, wait!" Meredith cried out.

"Wait? Wait for what?"

"I just..it's just it's only been a little over an hour since I saw her, maybe she's just looking around outside or something and lost track of time.." Even Meredith knew how bad that sounded.

"I know she hasn't been missing long but this isn't like her. You were only in the bathroom for crying out loud, why would she go off somewhere and leave her things there!" Castle said, annoyed at Meredith's reluctance to call the police. They needed to find their daughter. "Just stay there, I'm sure the police will want to speak to you soon." He hung up the phone and was about to dial 911 when the phone rang in his hand. _Alexis_. "Alexis? Is that you? Are you ok? Where are you?" He asked, frantic with worry.

"Yeah dad, it's me..and I'm fine, why wouldn't I be? I'm at Ambers, like I told mom." The girl replied, sounding confused at her dad's reaction to the call.

"Your mother said..never mind" he didn't really want to talk harshly about Meredith to Alexis, she was her mom after all. "Wait, your mother knew you were at Ambers?" He questioned.

"Yeah, she met me from school and we went shopping but then she said she had something planned so we couldn't do dinner. I'd already made plans to come over to Ambers to study for our chemistry exam, so I just came a little earlier. I would have called you but my cell had no battery, so mom said she'd let you know where I was and that I'd be home around 10. I've just charged my cell and saw I had a lot of missed calls from you - is everything okay?"

He was going to kill Meredith. "Yeah honey, everything's fine." He lied. Alexis hadn't done anything wrong, it was Meredith that needed teaching a lesson. "You have fun with Amber and I'll see you late, okay?"

"Yeah okay. I love you, dad."

Smiling to himself at how lucky he was to have a daughter like her, he said "I love you too, pumpkin." Before hanging up. He couldn't believe Meredith had done this. He knew she was upset that he was with Kate, well that's if he could convince Kate to ever see him again after tonight, but he never thought she'd be so cold hearted as to use their daughter to get his attention. Pulling up her number on the screen, he hit dial.

"Hello?" Meredith said.

"Meredith how could you do this?" He practically shouted.

"Do what, kitten? I don't know what you're-"

"You know full well what I'm talking about. I've just had a call from Alexis - who is at a friends house, studying. Something she said you knew about and were supposed to tell me. So why, may I ask, did you call me pretending she'd disappeared?" He was seething with anger at what she'd done, she knew how much Alexis meant to him.

"Oh darling it was nothing, just a little trick. Good to see my acting skills are still believable though!" She laughed.

"Meredith.." Castle growled through the receiver.

"Oh for goodness sakes Rick you're overreacting! Nobody got hurt! I just wanted a little attention, is that too much to ask? You could barely look at me this morning when you were telling me about _Kate_. God, she must be a right bore, what ever do you see in her?! Anyway, I have to go, I'm flying back to LA in the morning and I need to pack, goodbye." And with that she hung up the phone.

Castle was still raging with anger. She was way out of line using their daughter like that and he had a good mind to head over to her hotel right now and give her a piece of his mind! But then he remembered where he was meant to be tonight - on a date with Kate. Looking over at the clock, he saw it had just gone 9.00. He decided against calling her - turning up at her place might give him a better chance.

* * *

Twenty minutes later and Castle was stood outside the door to Beckett's apartment. Raising his hand, he knocked three times.

Beckett opened the door, glass of wine in hand. When she saw who it was, she left the door open but returned to her place on the sofa. "Remembered about our date then have you? You're only about an hour and a half late, better late than never I suppose."

"Beckett listen, I can explain-" Castle started, but was interrupted.

"Let me guess..you were abducted by aliens who wanted to know about life on earth?" She said sarcastically, the three or four (she couldn't remember) glasses of wine going straight to her head on an empty stomach.

"Kate, listen. I was on my way out of the door when Meredith called." Shit. That wasn't going to help.

He was right. "Oh so _Meredith_ called did she? And obviously you stayed to talk to her, completely forgetting about little old me over here. And what's this? You've finished talking to her so you thought you'd come and see if I still wanted to go out? Well I've got news for you bud, I'm no ones second choice."

"She called to tell me Alexis had gone missing."

That soon sobered Kate up. "Missing? Oh my god, is she okay? Where is she? What happened?" Kate said, sounding just as worried as Castle had earlier.

"She's fine, she's at a friends - Meredith knew the whole time but was, uh, a little annoyed, shall we say, at the lack of attention I gave her earlier."

Relieved that Alexis was okay, Beckett's mind switched to the second part of what he'd said. "Wait. When you saw her earlier?"

"Yes, when I got home from the precinct earlier, she was _waiting_ for me. Let's just say she wasn't best pleased when she found out you and I were..um, dating." He couldn't quite meet her eye.

Kate bit her lip and smiled. "Oh, so you turned down your ex wife - because of me?" She asked.

"Yes, I did. Because when you agreed it that date I felt like a teenage girl who'd just been asked to prom by the cutest guy in the school. It felt like all my Christmases had come at once. I was so excited about tonight, Kate. I was really looking forward to taking you out somewhere nice and actually having a proper conversation with you. When you think about it, all we've really done is either argue or have sex. And I want the girl I met ten years ago. I know you're in there somewhere and I know it might take some time to find you again but I have never forgotten that night, never. I can still remember every word of that conversation we had at the bar and how you were adamant we were only going back to mine to talk." She grinned at the memory. "And I'm okay with you not telling me everything just yet, but I'll be here when you want to. Always."

"You want a drink?" She offered, taking him by surprise.

"Uh, yeah sure. Kate did you listen to what I just said?"

"Of course I did, just playing the nice host and making you a drink." She poured him a glass of wine and brought it over to the couch where they were both now sat. "I heard every word, and I don't think anyone has ever said anything so lovely to me." He smiled at her. "I still remember that night. I was bored and your book was there. I hadn't read the first, but thought I'd look at the second and I was mesmerised. Three pages in and I was hooked, I was planning on escaping somewhere to read it when you turned up. I still don't know why you came over though?"

"Kate, did you see yourself that night? God you looked stunning. That dress hugged all the right places and I'll admit, I wanted to get you into bed. Surely someone that looked like you couldn't be good at everything..turns out I was wrong by the way. But then when we talked I couldn't believe how intelligent and wise you were. It was refreshing and I was hooked..on you."

She smiled at him. "I've read them all, you know. More than once." She took a deep breath. "My mother was murdered. You were right - that night. Yep, while I was _busy_ with you, my mother was stabbed to death in an alleyway on her way to meet my father for dinner."

"Kate, oh sweetheart I'm so sorry.." Castle said. He knew something had happened but he never could have imagined anything like this.

She carried on. "Her killer was never caught, we still, to this day, do not have closure, not properly. And that's why I'm such a fan of your books, they give me something I never had - an ending." The tears were forming now, she hated crying but couldn't seem to help herself. "That's why I became a cop, you were right. Yes I should have been a lawyer, but I joined the academy first chance I got. And for the first three years as a cop, I spent every spare minute looking for something, _anything_ that they might have missed. It took over a year of therapy to walk away from that but I've put it behind me now. A small part of me still hopes I'll get justice for her, but I can't go back down that rabbit hole, it's not healthy."

Castle took both of their glasses and placed them on the coffee table. Scooting closer, he pulled Kate into a tight hug. "You're remarkable, you know that?" He felt her shake her head against his chest. "You are. I don't know many people who would be strong enough to do what you did, to walk away." He paused for a moment. "Thank you. For telling me. And for reading my books, I'm glad they could help even just a little bit."

They sat like that in silence for a few minutes before Castle spoke again. "I'm sorry, for ruining our date."

Kate pulled away and looked him in the eyes. "Hey, you didn't ruin it, Meredith did. Which is a shame really because I think you'd really like the dress I was planning on wearing.."

"Oh really? Is that so? Well why don't you go and put it back on and I'll tell you what I think?"

She smiled and got up to head into her bedroom.

While he was waiting, Castle relaxed against the sofa and sipped his wine. A few minutes later, Kate came back out. He almost spat out his wine at the sight of her. "Jesus Christ, Kate! Are you trying to give me a heart attack? Perhaps it's a good thing we didn't go out tonight - I'm not sure I would have made it through dinner with you in that dress!"

"So..you like it?" She asked, giving him a twirl.

"Like it? Kate, I love it!" He got and walked over to her. "But you know, there is one place it would look better."

"Oh, really? Where?" Kate asked in confusion.

Castle leaned in close and whispered in her ear, "the floor."

Kate grinned at him and took his hand, leading him into her bedroom.

* * *

An hour and a half later, and Castle and Beckett emerged from the bedroom, driven out by hunger. Deciding on Chinese take out, they ordered and sat cuddled together on the couch waiting for it to arrive.

They hadn't had sex just now, they'd made love. Kate grinned just at the thought of it. She never would have thought her life would end up this way, but right now, she was the happiest she'd been in ten years.

"So, are we officially dating now then?" Castle asked.

"I don't know, Castle, we haven't actually gone out on a proper date yet.." She teased. "But, I'm willing to forget that..so yeah, I guess we're dating."

"Perfect." He kissed the top of her head. "I knew the second I met you that I'd never be able to forget you, no matter what happened..perhaps it was the cheekbones."

"Yeah well, I had a pretty successful career because of my 'bone structure' I'll have you know." She said with a smile.

"I know you did - researched you, remember? But I'm not sure I would have got the inspiration for my new set of novels if I was following a model around."

"Oh, so that's why you're dating me, hey? So you can get _up close and personal_ with an NYPD detective?"

"Among other reasons, I guess."

"Yeah, such as?" She pressed.

"Well - you're pretty. Yeah. And you feel like you have to carry the weight of the world around on your shoulders. But I get the feeling you try and act like you're invincible - like no one can hurt you or get to you, it's pretty incredible actually. And you know what? You still manage to laugh at some of my jokes."

She laughed at him. "Don't tell everyone, I've got a reputation to uphold."

* * *

**_A/N: do you know how weird it is writing 'cell' instead of mobile?! You americans are odd ;) anyway, thoughts on this? _**

**_I'm currently toying with the idea of leaving it there - Castle and Beckett have their happy ending after all - and I'm not really sure where else I could take it! However, I'm more than happy to accept suggestions for future chapters if you'd like to carry this story on! _****_Thank you all so much to everyone who has reviewed, favourited and followed - you've made me very happy!_**


	8. Chapter 8

**_A/N: so once again, a huge thanks for all of your reviews on the ending! I didn't really know what to do next, so I was going to end it like that, but some of your reviews mentioned a sequel/epilogue and I loved that idea so I wrote one! This is set present-day(ish), after 6x11 but before 6x14, but its a bit of a trip down memory lane.._**

* * *

"You're very quiet. What're you thinking about?" Beckett asked.

"Oh just reminiscing over all the good times we've had over the last few years." Castle replied. "We've solved quite a lot of cases together, haven't we? Obviously, you couldn't have done it without me by your side every step of the way."

Kate rolled her eyes. "Castle, your crazy theories drove me insane. Still do!"

"Hey, I was right some of the time. The CIA were involved once!"

"Yes, once. I swear you must have mentioned them at least 50 times on different cases. But yeah, you're right..we have had some good times. A lot of good times..and I guess we still have a hell of a lot more to come." She looked up at him, smiling.

She was right, they would have more good times to come. His mind flashed back to how it all started..

* * *

He'd taken her out on a date, finally. After the way their first planned date ended up, he was a bit nervous but the second one had gone without a hitch. He'd taken her to a gorgeous restaurant in Manhattan, and my god she had another heart stopping dress to wear. He'd made it through dinner - just, but that dress had also ended up on the floor when they'd got home.

It had taken a few weeks after that date, but she finally agreed to tell Esposito, Ryan, Lanie and Captain Montgomery about them. Funnily enough, they weren't surprised. It had been pretty obvious all along really, it was silly trying to keep it from them - they were her friends, her family.

She'd met his mother and Alexis - which went down swimmingly. It couldn't have gone more perfect if he'd written it himself. They both loved her - especially as she took their side in teasing him. That part he wasn't so sure about..

Then he'd met Jim, Kate's father. Kate had told him about Jim's problems after Joanna's murder and he was grateful that she'd let him in again, she opened up more and more as the weeks went on. Jim seemed happy with them being together..did give Castle a warning about breaking his little girls heart, though. Castle was pretty sure however, that if Beckett's heart got broken, it was her he would have to be scared of - she had a gun and everything!

* * *

"Remember how angry I was when you wanted to investigate my mothers case?" She said, bringing him back to reality.

"Angry? I do believe '_Castle, you touch my mothers case, and you and I are done_' were your exact words." He replied.

"Yeah, might have gone a little overboard on that. And um, with the reaction when you told me what you'd found." She bit her lip.

"A little overboard? Kate you didn't speak to me for a week after that. It was the most horrendous week of my life! Well, one of, anyway. I would have done anything at that point to get you to talk to me again."

"Oh stop being such a baby. I spoke to you again didn't I?" She asked, a glint in her eye.

"Yes. After many threats to certain body parts that needed to stay in tact if Alexis was going to have a brother or sister any time in the future!"

She laughed at him. "I am glad you did, you know." She said quietly. "If it hadn't been for you poking your nose into my business, we wouldn't have got to where we are today."

He kissed the top of her head. "You're welcome." He whispered back, feeling her smile against his chest. He loved it when they sat like this - him sat up on the sofa and her curled into him, head resting on his chest. She was so powerful and domineering, it was nice when she gave up some of that control and just let him hold her.

"Okay. Well that's where it started, what other cases do you remember? I've certainly got a few favourites.." Kate said.

"Oh, well. There was the case where the fashion model was murdered. That was a good one.."

"Oh yeah? And why is that Castle?" She teased, knowing full well he'd enjoyed every minute of that case.

"Not for the reason you're thinking, Detective. I mean yeah, there were girls, lots of girls. But I had you - what more could I want?" He knew she was rolling her eyes at him then, _so Beckett like._ "Don't roll your eyes at me young lady, it's the truth! It was fun though..especially Ryan and Espo."

"Yeah, they assumed that just because I used to be in the industry, I knew who had killed her! It was like a trip down memory lane for me though, never thought I'd be back there!" Beckett said.

"I'm glad you gave it up, you know. I mean don't get me wrong you were incredible at it, but I think being a cop is exactly where you're supposed to be, it's perfect for you. Anyway, if you hadn't been a cop maybe you and I never would have got together, not like this. Maybe I never would have seen you again after that night."

"Oh I can dream." She teased. He shook his head at her. _He was so in love with her, still, it was ridiculous._

"And then your first Nikki Heat novel came out..remember how I tried to get you to change the name?" She'd hated it at first.

"Oh yeah - you told me it was a stripper name!"

"It is a stripper name!" Even to this day she was convinced 'Nikki Heat' was no name for a cop. Not one who wanted to be taken seriously, anyway.

Castle sighed, he'd never win this one.

"Oh, I know. Remember how jealous you were when Kyra showed up..when her bridesmaid was murdered!" That was a particular favourite of his, seeing Kate get properly jealous for the first time had been hilarious..and pretty damn hot.

"Castle, I was not jealous! How many times do I have to tell you?" She counteracted. He let out a snort of disbelief. "Okay. Maybe a I was a little bit jealous. Well, what do you expect? She knew you back before books took over, I was jealous that she knew you better than I did. There. I admit it - happy now?" She huffed.

"He was silent for a minute. You know, I'm trying to figure out if I found the jealousy thing hotter back then or now..it's been years Kate, and I know you'd still be jealous if she walked though the door now."

"She better not walk though that door, or I swear to god-"

He cut her off with a laugh. "You have no idea how sexy that is." He whispered to her.

"Okay okay, forget about Kyra, lets move on shall we." Kate said to another laugh from Castle.

"Hmm, next I think was when you shot Dick Coonan." He said, falling silent at the sinister turn this conversation had taken.

"I still think about that. I mean, I know I didn't want him to die because he might have told me who had my mother killed, but if Captain Montgomery hadn't realised what was happening, he might still be out there. And I know it's taken a lot longer to find out more about who had her killed, but I'd rather have it that way than have Dick Coonan out on the streets again."

"You are extraordinary. You really are. You still manage to amaze me with your compassion and empathy and your ability to put emotions aside and get on with the case. It's something I admire about you."

She moved her head from his chest and planted a soft kiss on his lips, saying, "I love you." Against them.

"Oh that reminds me, it was after that case that I told you I loved you for the first time! You didn't say anything, I even wondered if you'd heard me.."

"I heard you, Rick. And I'm sorry I didn't say anything, but I couldn't. I loved you, god I'd been in love with you pretty much since we met, but I just wasn't quite there."

"I know and it's okay. You told me eventually! After the case with the uh, fetish club right?"

"Yep, that's the one. We had some fun on that case though, right? Well, more specifically _after_ the case.."

"Oh yeah, lots of uh, research went into that one!" They still had the toys they'd brought home from the store. Perhaps they'd get them out again soon..

"Mmm, and then it was your turn to get jealous." She said with a smile.

"What? I..no..I wasn't-"

"Whatever Castle, you were constantly trying to outdo Demming, you so were jealous!" She said.

"Well what do you expect, the guy kept looking at you like he wanted to take you home and tie you to a bed. No way, you were mine and he had to learn that!" He replied.

"Oh you're just overreacting, I'm sure he was just being friendly. Perhaps you both should have dropped your pants when I suggested and we could have moved on.." She teased.

"Detective Beckett I can't believe you suggested such a thing!" She laughed at him.

"We had a pretty big argument after he was gone, huh." He said, bringing the conversation round to bad times again.

"Yeah, we did." She replied solemnly.

"I can't believe you thought I was going to break up with you though!"

"Castle, I had never seen you look so serious before! When we were sitting on those swings, all I could imagine was you saying that it wasn't going to work!"

"Of course I was serious, Kate, I was proposing to you. I knew you, better than you thought. I so desperately wanted you to say yes but I was worried I was pushing to hard and you'd run a mile in the opposite direction!"

"Well, I said yes didn't I?"

"Yes, yes you did. And we came home and celebrated that. All night if I remember correctly."

"Oh god, I needed a gallon of caffeine to get me through the next day at work!" She said, laughing at the memory.

"And then Mike Royce came back. I know that was a hard one for you." Castle said.

"Yeah, it was. I was obsessed with him when I joined the force. He was everything I wanted to be and the only one who didn't tell me I was wasting my time looking into my mothers case. I hate how things ended up between us..but um, I'm glad you were there for me, Castle. And I'm glad you got to meet Royce. He wasn't always like that, he was perfect to me when I was just out of the acadamy." She said.

"I'll always be here Kate, always."

"I know." She said, smiling at him.

"He did have some great stories about you though! But I am I little disappointed he didn't tell me about the karaoke stakeout, never could get it out of him."

"Maybe I'll tell you one day, Castle, if you're lucky." She replied.

"I'll look forward to it! And then came the return of 3xK. God that man is evil." Castle shuddered at the thought.

"That was a pretty horrific one. And I'd never been so scared about losing you..when we found out you and Ryan were still in that motel room, I went into panic mode!"

"It's okay, I was fine. He wouldn't kill me, too easy." He paused, realising that he could come back at any minute. "Good old Mother, realising something was up when I told her I loved her."

Beckett laughed. "Yeah, god forbid you say that too much."

"Oh, and then we had a guest. The Nikki Heat movie was about to start filming! Had some fun with Natalie Rhodes, didn't we!"

"She was a nightmare. It was okay at first, just like having another you follow me around, but when she started stealing my coffee? No that was too far. I'm surprised she didn't try and steal my fiancé too.."

"Oh, she tried alright. But I made her well aware of the fact that I had the real life Nikki Heat and nothing could compare to that."

"Oh, so that's why she seemed off with me that last day. Huh, makes sense now!" Beckett said, a look of understanding washing over her face. "And then we had the death of the magician. I'll never forget your face when I told you I did a trick with ice cubes! I should have taken a picture!"

"You love teasing me. It's not fair sometimes."

"Hey, its not teasing if I carry through with it.." She clarified.

"Oh yeah, you showed me exactly what it was you did with ice cubes." He grinned at the memory. "Perhaps we'll have to do that again soon."

"Enjoy yourself with that one did you, Castle?" She asked. She knew full well how much he'd enjoyed it.

He was quiet for a minute. "And then your mothers murder came up again." He felt her stiffen next to him. "Hey, sweetheart, it's okay. You're safe, I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

"Yeah I know." She sighed heavily. "Just, seeing Raglan shot like that, right next to us really brought it home that these people will stop at nothing to keep their secrets safe. I guess that gave us loads more to go on though. I mean before he was killed, we hardly had anything. After and we had a half a case. I still wish Montgomery hadn't been involved though. I know it wasn't really his fault and he was just a rookie, but finding out he was the third cop? It broke my heart."

"I know it did honey. But at least he came to our wedding, we have that much."

She smiled, remembering their wedding day. It had been perfect. The weather was gorgeous, everyone invited made it with no problems. He father had walked her down the aisle to a waiting Castle, with Ryan and Espo stood next to him. Alexis and Lanie had followed her down the aisle, her two beautiful bridesmaids. It had been the happiest day of her life and she knew, from that moment on, Richard Castle was hers for life. "My mom, she would have loved that day."

"Her baby was getting married - to me no less - of course she would have loved it! The day you became Katherine Houghton Beckett-Castle. Best day ever." They'd gone to visit her grave the day before the wedding, just the two of them. Kate didn't usually go unless it was her birthday or the anniversary, but wanted to tell her mom how excited she was about her big day. She knew her mom would have been proud and one day, one day she'd have justice.

"It was a perfect day, I just wish she could have been there for it." She was quiet for a minute. "But you're right, I'm glad Roy was there." It had been two weeks after Castle and Beckett (she'd refused to change her name to Castle, instead they'd compromised on her hyphenating it instead) had come back from their honeymoon that Montgomery had been killed.

"And then a few weeks after you became mine for life, you got shot!" Castle said, remembering how he'd seen the sniper just a second too late.

"Yeah, well I made it. I'd put up with you for that long, I wasn't going to leave you that easily!" She said. "The PTSD was awful after that though..I felt like I lived in that therapists office."

"I didn't know what to do then. I didn't know how to help."

"You helped just by being there, Castle. I wouldn't have got through it without you." She took a moment, trying to remember other important and memorable cases they'd shared. "Oh god, that time when you and Martha were held hostage in that bank, that was awful! And the hostage negotiator was terrible as well, he didn't like me."

"Kate, I've seen you when you get going. Knowing it was me in there? I can imagine you were pretty hard to handle." He chuckled, his little spitfire.

"Okay, I didn't exactly give him an easy time but I wanted, _needed_ you out of there!"

"Oh I'm sure Gates wouldn't have minded if I'd been stuck in there a bit longer. She really didn't like me, did she?"

"No, she hated you. Called me into her office shortly after she took over, said she didn't care if you were my husband, you were a liability. She was right of course-" he poked her in the ribs. "But I had to admit, you had been sort of helpful, on occasion. And the mayor wasn't happy that she didn't want you, she had no choice after that! And what do you mean, didn't like you? I think it was only a a few weeks ago that she stopped hating you. She'd still chuck you out if she could! Though I have to admit, she didn't believe you'd killed that woman though. She might not have liked you, but she was on your side."

"That was awful, I couldn't believe he'd come back and do that!" Castle said, referring to Jerry Tyson, also known as 3xK. "You never stopped believing me though, you have no idea how grateful I was for that."

"It's because of what you did over the years that meant I believed in you."

"What do you mean?" He questioned.

"Do you remember our first case? You were convinced Kyle Cabot didn't do it." She said.

"Oh yeah, and you told me that when you find someone standing over a body with a gun, they're usually the murderer. This was real life, not one of my books."

"Yeah, but you were right. It wasn't Kyle Cabot, even though all the evidence suggested it was. When all the evidence was stacked up on you, I still knew you hadn't done it, because the evidence isn't always the whole story, you've taught me that." Proving he was innocent was one of the most important things she'd ever had to do.

"Well, I'm glad I taught you something." He said with a smile.

"We had a weekend at the Hamptons after that - even on a holiday the bodies couldn't keep away!"

"And even on a holiday we couldn't stop investigating!" He laughed, remembering how hrs they'd tried to stay out of it.

"Alexis' kidnapping was hard. I wanted so bad to promise you I'd find her, but I knew you'd never forgive me if I didn't. You shouldn't have gone to Paris without me though! I could have helped.."

"I wasn't getting you into anymore trouble. You'd already resigned once, remember? I didn't need Gates chucking you out. I think you taking the job in DC was hard. I didn't know what to do with myself. I'd spent almost every day with you since we met and now I couldn't follow you anymore. It was weird!"

"Yeah, except you couldn't stay away and almost got yourself killed in the process." She pointed out.

"I missed you." He said simply. Her heart softened, he knew how to pull on her heart strings.

"I know you did Castle and I missed you too, but hey, we're both back at the twelfth now."

"Hmm, and we never did resolve who was into whom first. Though obviously you were into me first." He brought up the conversation they'd had whilst he was trying to distract her from the fact she was stood on a bomb, before she went to DC.

"Er excuse me? I think you'll find I tried to leave that night but you insisted we go back to yours to _talk_. And then ten years later, it still took you a bit of convincing to talk me back into bed again. He chuckled a her, they always disagreed on this.

"Yeah yeah, whatever." He said. "And here we are, a good few years later. Still going strong." Stronger than ever actually.

"Missing a case, Castle?"

"What's that?" He asked.

"Remember what I told you after Espo and Ryan were rescued from that burning building?"

He smiled at the memory. After that horrific day, they'd come home stinking of smoke. The emotions of the day had come to a head and clothes had been ripped off and they had been all over each other. And just as he was about to tell her how much he loved her, she'd dropped a bombshell - they were pregnant.

That was about a month ago now, and her bump was beginning to show. He lifted her shirt up slightly, resting his hands on their baby. They'd had a scan last week and everything was fine. Kate was glowing and had never been happier, and tomorrow, they were breaking the news to Espo and Ryan. So they'd been through a lot, but both made it out the other side. And they were still together, _always_.

* * *

**_A/N: ok, so what do you think? I'm really glad I wrote this, gave a proper ending to the story - and a Caskett baby! Thank you for all your reviews on this, you've been amazing!_**


	9. Authors Note - Look Back but Don't Stare

**_Hey guys I'm posting this as a new chapter even though it's not..but I wanted you all to know that this is sort of continuing - I've started a series of one-shots based on this fic, with Castle and Beckett looking back at the memorable cases they solved and how they would have been different if they actually were together. (Basically the epilogue in a LOT more detail!) I'm a little bit OCD with order and organisation and things so they WILL be in order of the actual episodes, (I physically could not post them out of order, I get a bit panicky about that!) and the first one is set around 1x10 - A Death in the Family. It's set present day, ie around the time of the epilogue in this fic, and flashbacks to old cases are in italics. I hope you all enjoy it and please let me know what you think! Also, I know roughly what episodes I will be adding, but please let me know if there's any you think should be there and if it's not on my list then I'll see if I can write one! Thank you so much for all the love on this story, you were brilliant!_**


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